Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Which is precisely what her grandmother used to do apparently. But she has not been exposed to that behaviour so ?? The mind boggles

@Determined

Perhaps some time alone might be what she needs.

Emotional dysregulation = difficult not to see as bad behaviour.

Wondering if any DBT for kids (+ parent/s) that might help with the young ones.

My Dad used to get blamed for all sorts of things as the supposed "cause" of arguments, but the only time either my sister or I remember him "starting" one was when Mum was giving my sister a hard time, and he came to her defence. It was so hard to watch. 😞 So yeah, really relating to you @Determined.

And I also remember a fair few visits to Dad's mum, our Grandma, with Mum refusing to go. I wonder if sometimes that actually gave Dad some space with supportive family when he really needed it.

Two sides to that coin @Smc

On one side yes the time out is great on the other I feel guilty for leaving darling home alone and worry over her doing something stupid to harm herself.

We just arrived home after being away for 6 hours and she is no less angry. Somehow translating hi how was your day as 'ripping a fart up her' at least she appears to be unharmed.

I really don't known how I am going to manage if this keeps up for much longer.

Lots of rides on my bike and day trips in the boat.

I had hoped for a sunset cruise and watch the fireworks foe NYE but can't see that happening. I could just take the older boys but need a second adult in order to take S3 because -stand by that post and don't move- while I unload/ load the boat is too much for them. Not safe and too stressful to even contemplate.

Darlings family were quite disappointed she did not visit. Especially as one cousin is visiting from overseas.

I think she resents their 'perfect lives'

Reality is they are far from perfect. They just choose to make the best of what they have.

I wonder how often MI is caused by or made worse by the conviction that "nothing that I think or do can make life any better". I know our girl is pretty convinced that she can't make a difference to her quality of life, which is so sadly a self fulfilling prophecy. But yeah, what we choose to do with whatever we've got makes a huge difference.

That is all a part of it @Smc , the inability to pull oneself out of that mindset. Getting the right meds that will help reduce symptoms enough so that the patient is able to learn ways of coping and managing their intrusive/disordered thoughts seems to take a long time and with PDs is hit and miss (often the latter). As with most chronic conditions, even with the right meds/therapy most patients are not symptom free and have the additional burden of medication side effects, some of which can be mistakenly attributed to being progression of the disorder rather than to the drug itself.

Have things settled at all @Determined

Uneasy truce atm @Former-Member

I am concerned at the moment. Trying not to overreact but it is hard.

Mix of emotions

Angry, resentful, depressed. And I just don't know. Exhausted.

There have even been moments where I juat don't care any more. Over being the whipping post.

I am far from a perfect husband but everything I do revolve around my family. Tired of meeting unobtainable expectations. ☹🥺