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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yikes @Determined sending gentle thoughts your way. Are you able to have 1/2 hour time out and have a breather?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

hugs @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member @Shaz51

I managed 1/2 hour out in the garden watering after the dreaded weekly shopping and 15min at the organ while dinner was cooking. Feeling the peak of the anxiety has eased but feeling super flat now on the edge of a headache 😖

Even though I feel flat I feel like my heart mind and breathing are racing. Its confusing contradictory mix of feelings. 😨🥺🤪

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined did you manage to get any sleep last night Bro?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I think I managed about 5 hours of light sleep @Former-Member It was after 1am before I finally drifted off. I was supposed to go into work early before classes but that didn't happen. Feeling pretty wasted tonight so hoping I can fall asleep and stat asleep tonight.

Things are a bit sketchy here tonight, had a meeting with teacher and child at school and everyone (except the teacher) things I am being controlling and unreasonable. It would help if Darling actually came to some of these meetings rather leaving me to it to smooth out problems and then not supporting me afterwards in the solution.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Probably should add that controlling and unreasonable in this instance is related to restrictions on internet and screen time.

And I am only trying to implement widely recognised guidelines around what is healthy for a developing mind. I don't even bother with what is considered an appropriate bedtime anymore.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

20 year wedding anniversary here tomorrow and feeling emotional and conflicted about it. I was hoping to do something special but when I raised it a couple of weeks ago darling made it clear she was not the least bit interested and even went so far as to say she wished we were never married. Don't know if I should even acknowledge it now as I not sure I could cope with the potential rejection 🥺

Then if I say nothing it could be perceived as rejection by me and trigger a whole world of trouble and turmoil within darling.

Bring on next week. I am over this one already.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Very hard place to be @Determined. 😞 Thinking of you, praying.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sending gentle thoughts your way @Determined

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