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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had an exam today at UNI and got the usual pre-exam phone call from Darling.

Fortunately for me she missed the timing and I was already in the exam and could not answer.

She is complaining tonight that she feels anxious and unwell and has taken her allocated PRN for the day.

I have one more test to do this week so hoping after that is over she may lighten up a bit.

I am feeling guilty for feeling so unmoved and cynical about it all but the behaviour is so predictable...

Times when I could use some love and support are the times when the wheels fall off .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had another test today to be done online after I finished my work shift.

As predicted I received a text by 8am saying how unwell darling was feeling

We survived the day however and I did ok on my test.

Family day out tomorrow .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

How did family day go @Determined ?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Family day went well @Former-Member and less stressful than I was expecting.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

that sounds good @Determined

Hello @Hopefulhusband1

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

All quiet here @Former-Member

Had planned some study over the weekend but didn't happen 🤨

Some catching up to do this coming week now.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Feeling soooo stressed this ave

Darling is depressed and worried about her.

Trying to sort out a dispute with electrical provider and have managed to loose some critical documents.

Still have roof issues outstanding that I was confident should have been sorted by now,

and not getting any UNI assessment work done at all...

Add to all of that I have a meeting with a child and teacher at school tomorrow to discuss acceptable and respectful behaviour. (currently has absolutely no insight about his attitude and how it affects those around him)

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

As a positive darling gave me a hug of support this afternoon when I was on the edge of a meltdown,,,

Usually when I am this level of dysfunctional is when the wheels really fall off for her.

She said that she can see that I am trying to sort things out for her and thankyou.

Just what I needed at that point in time.

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