Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

1,421 - 1,430 of 2,306

1...142 143 144...231

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor12 July 2019, 10:50 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

If it was the one on the side of the hill @Former-Member most likley was the same one 🙂

We also hired a buggy for FIL as his legs are giving him grief at the moment.
He was going to stay at the car but I managed to get him out and about and I think he was happy he did.

I am keen to go back when I can move at my own pace and enjoy taking photos. We got there late due to travel time and needed to leave earlier than we would usually as Mum and I did not want to be riding our bikes home in the dark.

+ little people get impatient when I spend too long in one place.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember13 July 2019, 9:05 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor15 July 2019, 10:11 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a pleasant day (apart from the leaving the house @ 2deg temp lol).

Back to normalish roster at work. (Big week this week. Back to normal next week) after 5 weeks of reduced hours. Thursday work will involve 3+ hours travel. Perfect opportunity to get out on my bike if it is not raining 😁

Had darling come and tag along with me for close to 2 hours as she did not want to be home alone. While it was nice to have her company and in a pleasant countenance it adds to my gut feeling that we are headed for the usual start of semester melt down.

(I actually went to uni for the day on Friday to hide and avoid a confrontation).

She is also in a spin about s2 and homework and saying stuff that is not at all helpful for s2. I can see that she is reliving through s2 her fear of school at that age and in doing so feeding his anxiety 😬 and as icing on the cake S1 keeps putting his 2 cents in which is in no way intentionally upsetting but in every way 'humor' missing the mark and making things worse 🤯

I can see the next 14 weeks is going to be a challenge balancing all of this with uni and work. Despite all of this I have much to be grateful for.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember18 July 2019, 9:08 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking especially of you today @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor18 July 2019, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Former-Member was a long day but all went well. Left home before 7 this morning and arrived home after 4. Not a big day really bit it is for me in my current state. A long day for 2x 1 hour workshops. Poor FIL has been worried about me all day riding so far on my bike.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor20 July 2019, 8:11 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Dark clouds on the horizon here.

Usual start of semester bumps with some added complications for good measure 😬

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember20 July 2019, 8:25 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Yikes @Determined sending gentle thoughts your way.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor21 July 2019, 5:11 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a builder friend come.and look at our new roof this ave. He shares some of my concerns, Darling is not coping with this at all well 😬

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember21 July 2019, 6:18 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Am I understanding correctly that the roofing job has not been done to a satisfactory standard?

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor21 July 2019, 6:52 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Still a work in progress @Former-Member but I am not happy with some of the finer points.

Kind of wish I had just put up with the hail damage at the moment.

It is a complex job but felt confident that the guy quoting was up to the task. Problem the job has been subcontracted.

1,421 - 1,430 of 2,306

1...142 143 144...231