Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Friends, families and carers

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor22 Jan 2018, 1:25 pm AEDT

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

2306 replies

1,431 - 1,440 of 2,306

1...143 144 145...231

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor21 July 2019, 6:54 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

It is an insurance job so will be discussing it with insurer is I don't get any joy with the builder tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor21 July 2019, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This is something I saved some time ago and came across again tonight and thought it may be helpful to others. It helps me to see some of these behaviours are not unique and see them for what they are, symptoms of an illness not traits of a defective personality. It is understanding this that has helped me to endure some 'bumpy roads'.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 July 2019, 5:48 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a panic attack and almost meltdown in class this morning. I actually walked out of class to come home and check out something building related that I was getting all worked up about.

Finally got confirmation this afternoon of a meeting for tomorrow with the building 'supervisor' (so called) to discuss issues with our re roofing job. Something that was requested a week ago. Something that if addressed earlier (or better still had been done properly in the first place) could have resolved a lot of anxiety. Because it has taken so long to get to the point of this meeting I am quite emotional about it and this is becoming to spill over and affect my ability to manage other 'problems'

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor25 July 2019, 5:51 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

On a positive note.

Considering how wound up and on edge I am Darling is holding it together surprisingly well. It is often when I am on edge that the wheels really fall off for her.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember25 July 2019, 9:18 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Sending gentle thoughts your way.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor26 July 2019, 7:27 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well builder did not bother to show up this afternoon at the agreed time and without the courtesy of a call or explanation. Replied to a polite but blunt email with another week excuse that again contradicted what his guys were telling me. Anxiety is currently at 11/10.

This afternoon I also received an email from one of the boys school regarding an alleged altercation. Another 'witch hunt' in progress.

Still have not received any feedback from the last one.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

DeterminedSenior Contributor26 July 2019, 7:29 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I was concerned this afternoon that darling was going to go out and tell the roofing guys on site what was on her mind.

This may not have been overly productive so thankful she agreed to let me sort it out.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Unknown userMember27 July 2019, 11:02 am AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Trust that a solution will become available to you @Determined 🙏

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor27 July 2019, 12:10 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

sending you hugs @Determined

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Shaz51Senior Contributor27 July 2019, 1:35 pm AEST

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Hello @Beekind , @Met1 , @ComplexityQueen , @Ali11 , @frozenButterfly

@Determined, hope you don`t mind me tagging a couple of members xx

1,431 - 1,440 of 2,306

1...143 144 145...231

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.