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Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This thread is a follow on (or starting over) from my previous thread Caring for a wife with borderline personality disorder – sequel to diary of wife's hospital stay, I wanted to start over and in order to leave all the trauma and negativity of last year behind me and start fresh.

Those of you who have been following our family journey will know that after a number of hospital admissions for my darling I was encouraged by my councillor to implement some boundaries (lovingly implemented guidelines, not rules to be enforced) as well as self-care for myself as what we were doing was clearly not working and my health was /still is being affected.

Well after a smoother than expected start the boundaries and self-care were forgotten with my darling having a complete melt down and further lengthy hospital admissions due to high risk of self harm and a genuine attempt to leave us. The last 6 months particularly have been quite difficult for us all. S2 particularly had a lot of issues at school during this time and is currently seeing a councillor.

The purpose of this new thread is to again document our journey of healing, working on implemented boundaries and commitment to self care. As with the previous thread this is so that I can have a visual plan for myself with some accountability to follow through with plans in place and in the hope that it may help others in similar situations to ours. And so that I can track our progress. This was especially helpful in the last thread leading up to Christmas when I was feeling down about our current position to review what I had written and see just how far we have come.

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In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thank you @Smc . I like the analogy of peace. It is quite accurate.

I had a discussion with Mum inlaws sister a couple of nights ago about closure. This is something I have struggled with with my dad who we lost almost 14 years ago. I think it is important to have a resting place and final goodbye for closure even with the promise and comfort that our faith brings. Even though it was hard watching our boys today I think it was important fornthem to have that moment. And for all the family.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

We all had some amazing support today from family friends and church family. Particularly some young adults and youth leaders from our church who came particularly to be with our boys in their time of grief. Something I think our boys will never forget.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Darling has held up well even with being anxious with having so many people in our home for the after time of fellowship. We estimate 60+ people were here.

She has mentioned that she would love to be able to cry out her feelings but can't. The fact she cant cry is bothering her. I wonder if this has anything to do with her meds? All I can do is hold her close and remind her I care and am here. She also has lots of other support around her which is comforting for me.

Going to try and get some sleep now. It has been a couple of weeks since I had a decent rested sleep. Thankyou all for your thoughts.

In response to: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined , I've only just read what happened. Thinking of you and your family and hope you are all as ok as possible at the moment xx

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I am most grateful that Darling continues to do well at the moment and much better than anticipated leading up to her mums passing. There are bound to be some rough days ahead but I am so proud of her at the moment. This time of year is always a trial for her at the best of times with back to school and me back to work and uni so most grateful for current outlook.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thinking of you all @Determined .

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

This week markes 12 months since darlings last self harm / attempt and visit to ED, something I still remember like it was yesterday. While it has been far from smooth sailing I am most grateful that she has remained safe during this time.

There was a time when I wondered if we would make it through intact and feared I would loose my wife and our children would be without their mum so this is a big milestone for us.

While I still struggle with accepting some of the effects of treatment while Darling was in hospital I am grateful that despite her best intentions and efforts we do not have to deal with any physical ailments or consequences from her attempts. Most visible evidence has healed over time. My heart really goes out to all who have to contend with such things as a reminder to what has gone before.

I just wanted to acknowledge a positive milestone as an encouragement to others as there was a time when I.questioned if we would ever be close to where we are now.

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thankyou @Smc

+ @Janiee @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

You give me hope @Determined . Praying that others can reach these milestones too. Thinking of you all x

In response to: Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Praying for you and your family @Janiee and @Smc that you and your loved ones can reach milestones like this.

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