Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined

Thank you @Former-Member

Darling quite low at the moment but despite this managing much better than she has in the past. She came to visit me at work for a coffee today when she was feeling lonely 😍

While managing at the moment in many ways I am struggling to keep it together. Hoping getting back into some routine with work and Uni and something positive and time sensitive to focus on with will help me to rise above the negativity I am feeling.

Sending positive thoughts your way @Determined

Trust you can find a place for grieving @Determined

Sort of @Former-Member

I'm not really sure I know how or what that means though if that makes sense.

I have definatly had a good cry but it all seems so unreal at the moment. Almost a state of denial? Feeling confused.

When I lost my Dad I buried myself in work and was focused on mum and darling both in crisis and a baby who would not sleep so was easy to ignore the situation. This time with mum inlaw I have had ample opportunity but dont know how to progress or even if I have. I have an unrelated app with gp next week where I plan to ask about it. Perhaps.get a referral to talk to someone about it.

Also need to find an opportunity to encourage darling to talk to someone. If she is ready for that or thinks she needs it. (She does have the support of a genuine friend who has also lost a mum so that may be enough )

There are also feelings of guilt around feeling so miserable when I feel I need to be strong and support darling and children.

All the more reason to look after me so I can be strong and support darling and the children and dad in law.

Sorry about the long winded response.

It came as a bit of a gush as it is something I have been dwelling on.

1/2 hour into the first class for the semester this morning and I got the standard 'I am so depressed I cant do this' text.

Thankfully my mum and sister were due to arrive so was able to focus on class. I did call during a break to say thinkig of you and you are doing great (and she is relatively) which seemed to help. Just knowing I had not forgotten she was there just because I was something for me.

@Determined, apparently the denial thing is a normal part of grief. There's some level in us where death just doesn't make sense. How can someone so full of life and personality suddenly just stop? Grief counseling sounds wise. If your minister is someone who's good to talk with, maybe catch up there too. Church pastors oversee a lot of people as they "leave" us.