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Something’s not right

life is too hard

catgirlSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 5:55 pm AEDT

life is too hard

Hi..i am not coping..i dont think anyone can help me..i have been having suicidal thoughts for a long time and have had a couple of unsuccesful attempts..i see a phsyciatrist, phsycologist,am currently doing DBT,and have been hospitalised 3 times in the past year...none of which is helping..the only positive thing i have in my life is my cat..but even he hasnt stopped the dark thoughts...i do have the means with which to end it all..its just a matter of when...i have read some of the other posts and can relate to most of them...i just want to be happy but every day is just so hard...my brain is moosh...im not eating or sleeping properly...which is making me feel worse...i guess thats enough for now...thanks for reading this post..😿

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In response to: life is too hard

whitedogSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 3:42 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hey @catgirl and @Mazarita

yeah I hope you were able to get out again. That's an interesting experience with the moth lol.

Last night I had a huntsman spider visit me so I put him in a cup and put him in the garden lol.

I think there are different superstitions as to what it means when an animal visits you. e.g. when a black cat visits you it's good luck in Irish folklore.

In response to: Re: life is too hard

MazaritaSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 3:52 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi @whitedog, looks like we are both up very late. I am on one of my usual middle-of-the-night awakenings and am resisting sleeping again as I feel very awake.

I really like that you saved the spider. I do that too. Not many spiders ever turn up inside where I live now. But in the last place I lived on the edge of a national park, backing onto it. Many uninvited creatures found their way inside there, including some might big huntsman spiders. I wonder what it means when they visit? I've always felt they were kind of 'friendly' spiders.

In response to: Re: life is too hard

whitedogSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 4:04 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

hey @Mazarita 🙂 yeah I find it difficult to sleep sometimes.

Yeah the huntsman looks scary but isn't really a danger. Hmm yeah living near a national park would def have many creatures around.

I looked up what were the folklores about spiders and one said:

"The spider is a remarkable figure of feminine energy and creativity in the spirit animal kingdom".

The spider can represent mother nature and creativity... and there are myths in Native American culture such as with the dream catcher too.

In response to: Re: life is too hard

MazaritaSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 4:11 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

@whitedog, I used to basically live by night for a long time. I'm slowly weaning myself out of that habit but still wake up a lot and then find it hard to get myself back into bed quite often. Also occasionally still have 'all-nighters', usually doing creative things. Cool interpretation of the presence of spiders. I saw a lovely dream catcher in a shop yesterday. It was made of crochet.

What do you usually do when you are awake in the middle of the night?

In response to: Re: life is too hard

whitedogSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 4:28 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

@Mazarita when I'm up through the night I'll usually catch up on study/reading. It can be a great time to get in the zone and get lots of work done.

Did you buy the dream catcher? I would like to get one now that I think of it. 🙂

What do you do when you're up through the night?

In response to: Re: life is too hard

MazaritaSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 4:40 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

@whitedog, sounds like a great thing to do with the reading and study and I can relate to the middle of the night being a good time to do it. I find this time the absolute best when doing my creative work, which involves mainly video editing. This is one of the reasons I find it so hard to wean off overnight wakefulness altogether. Are you studying formally or is it personal study?

I didn't buy the dream catcher but am thinking of going back. It was very lovely.

In response to: Re: life is too hard

whitedogSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 4:51 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

@Mazarita yeah so true... I find that I'm most creative at night, there's something so peaceful about it.

I'm studying formally but I also mix in some personal study too just to keep up my motivation.

I used to fight my wakefulness before but now I just embrace it and if I'm up through the night I'm up through the night.

I reckon you should buy the dream catcher lol. 🙂

In response to: Re: life is too hard

MazaritaSenior Contributor17 Jan 2018, 4:53 am AEDT

Re: life is too hard

@whitedog, I'd like to suggest we move our convo to another discussion thread so that we don't flood @catgirl's discussion with our chatting here tonight. I'll tag you from there with my reply to you. Won't be long. It's a discussion thread designed for general chatting.

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Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.