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life is too hard

catgirlSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 5:55 pm AEDT

life is too hard

Hi..i am not coping..i dont think anyone can help me..i have been having suicidal thoughts for a long time and have had a couple of unsuccesful attempts..i see a phsyciatrist, phsycologist,am currently doing DBT,and have been hospitalised 3 times in the past year...none of which is helping..the only positive thing i have in my life is my cat..but even he hasnt stopped the dark thoughts...i do have the means with which to end it all..its just a matter of when...i have read some of the other posts and can relate to most of them...i just want to be happy but every day is just so hard...my brain is moosh...im not eating or sleeping properly...which is making me feel worse...i guess thats enough for now...thanks for reading this post..😿

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In response to: life is too hard

KobeCatSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 6:07 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi @catgirl

KobeCat here the afternoon moderator for today.

I’m really sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you at the moment.

You have shown a lot of strength in coming to the forums and seeking help. It’s really important that you speak to someone about how you feeling.

Do you have someone you can speak to right now?

If not, we know some really helpful services. Unfortunately, we are not a crisis service, but some places you can call now for support are;

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Beyondblue: 1300 22 4636 or web chat

If in immediate danger: 000

If you are feeling suicidal, it’s really important to call one of the numbers above. You don’t deserve to go through this alone.

Are you safe?

Sometimes when people use the phrases such as you have said in your post, are having suicidal thoughts. These types of thoughts can be really scary and overwhelming – but they are thoughts that do not need to be acted upon. If you are having these types of thoughts, it’s really important to speak with someone.

You have shown great courage in reaching out for help & I hope you continue to do so. You are more than welcome to continue the forums, but if you need help immediately, please call one of the numbers above or 000 in an emergency

Please take care of yourself and let us know if you are safe,

Kindest regards,

Kobe

In response to: life is too hard

catgirlSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 6:22 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi @KobeCat ...thanks for the response..i have spoken to various mental health proffesionals plus friends and nothing they say helps...i understand what the are saying but none of it stops the dark thoughts...i have several mental health labels and am on medication but nothing stops this feeling and intrusive thoughts...if i do decide to try suicide again i will call someone..i promise 😼

In response to: Re: life is too hard

KobeCatSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 6:32 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi @catgirl

Thank you for letting me know you are safe and I really pleased you will call someone. I hope you find support here within our community and the wonderful members that look out for each other and offer kind and insightful advice.

Please Stay safe.

Kobe

In response to: life is too hard

catgirlSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 6:48 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Why do things get worse at night? I also struggle when i wake up every day...grief and sadness overwhelms me and it is taking its toll...there are contributing mental health issues that are too disturbing to share here...i dont want to go to hospital again..my usual length of stay is 3 - 4weeks then they discharge me without my thoughts being under control..FAIL !!!! If i didnt have my cat id suicide now...i hope i can hold on for the sake of my furry baby...nightime coming 😢

In response to: Re: life is too hard

KobeCatSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 7:04 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

HI @catgirl

I found this thread that has been around for a while.

If you click here you will find a thread about suicide safety planning that might offer your some comfort.

Take care

Kobe

In response to: Re: life is too hard

Unknown userMember13 Jan 2018, 7:12 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi @catgirl

welcome to the forums 🙂 I'm glad that KobeCat was around before! Sounds like you have been through a lot and feeling like nothing is really making much of a difference long term. i feel like that a lot too, though i have better days and am functioning ok. I have thought often about giving up too and so can understand how hard it can be. Hearing other people say the right things and understanding rationally is so hard when you cant 'feel' it or believe it in many ways too.

Im so glad you have your cat, im an animal person.. At the moment we have a dog and a pet python (my daughter's). Our dog is so important to me, hes got the cutest personality (though he's really not very clever!) and keeps me company and makes me move when the kids arent home and i find things hardest.

I really hope that the forums are helpful for you and that the really dark thoughts and things ease up a little for you soon. I also find that nights are the worst, so keep reaching out here, there are many who will relate, take care for now.

In response to: life is too hard

catgirlSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 7:28 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi @Former-Member..thanks for the response..furry babies are the best 😻 i am glad i found this forum..i only have one close friend and no family and i dont want to burden my dear friend with my daily struggles as she has mental health issues of her own...she does know how i generally feel as she has visited me when ive been in hospital and phsycotic...but dont want to lose her friendship by being too much of a downer...youre daughter must be a soothing influence for you..im glad you have her..if your feelings are anything like mine you would need a positive reason to live...as well as my mental health issues i also have chronic nerve pain which contributes to my dark thoughts...each night i pray for a better day tomorrow...am yet to have my prayers answered...only 1 hour till nightime... scared 🌜

In response to: Re: life is too hard

Unknown userMember13 Jan 2018, 7:36 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi again @catgirl
Yeah, i am lucky and i probably wouldnt be here if it wasnt for my kids (also have a lil boy - they're both in primary school). Understanding what its like to have few friendships and i also have no family too, which is so difficult for so many reasons.
Living with chronic pain would be exhausting on its own without the MI stuff thrown in.
Curious are you in Australia or else where? or do you go to bed early hehe, you don't have to answer though 😄 its only 7pm here. I'm not a great sleeper, nightmares and just hard to stay ok at night too with all the rambling thoughts and memories... hope tonight is a better one for you.

In response to: life is too hard

catgirlSenior Contributor13 Jan 2018, 7:49 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

Hi @Former-Member...wow you sound like me...nightmares, rambling thoughts and memories, not a great sleeper...i take meds that are supposed to sedate me but they dont...i try to watch tv but cant concentrate, reading is the same and music is just noise..i live in Sydney about 1 mins walk to the beach but am too deppresed to go for a walk.
.i only go outside my door to take rubbish out or go to medical appointments...i have had periods where i was really creative..even won 3 awards in various short film competitions however have not been able to do this since 2015...too unwell...not looking forward to the darkness tonight 😢

In response to: Re: life is too hard

Unknown userMember13 Jan 2018, 7:58 pm AEDT

Re: life is too hard

I love sydney 🙂 though i've only been there a few times. I live in a regional centre now (was living in small country towns and before that quite remote) but the 'big' town im in now is easier in someways (we have click and collect even these days yay for not having to go into supermarket!).
I'm sorry to hear how hard it is to get out and about, my kids are outdoorsy kids which is good and we spend a lot of time walking and riding places... also our dog is a kelpy cross who needs a lot of exercise.
Wow on the short film awards, well done! I hope that at some point you are up to continuing with that. We have another lovely member here who has talents in that area too... hi @Mazarita 🙂

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