Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.

@Shaz51

That was a nice message.

@Starta....... my child had a near-death experience ....... she didn’t revive initially following open-heart surgery ....... by they persisted with her and she eventually revived. She was on heart-lung bypass, so her physical body was taken care of during the period of time that she wouldn’t respond and “re-start” ...... and she is alive and well today.

Others on the forum have lost children, and yes, it is really devestating.

I am sorry you have lost your husband and I hope you find comfort walking along here with us ....... we are happy to walk along a recovery path with you.

Take courage, and do what you can in the moment. Wishing peace for you .......

I light candles for my mother whom I lost too soon .......

@Shaz51

Have a good sleep. I can't sleep, I'm going out for a walk, take care

Hii @Starta

Thank you for your kind thoughts about my son - he took his own life over thirty years ago and yes - it does take part of our soul to have a child die - it rearranged my whole life and turned out to be the most important thing that ever happened to me

I understand what you are saying when you find you don't have anyone to do things for now - although I am a divorced person and have been for well over 25 years it is quite different - but I have heard the condition of such as loss as you have is called "The Empty Arms"

This often happens when someone we have done a lot for dies - in your case - caring for your husband with cancer - in mine - being closely involved with a person with Suicide Ideation and Suicide Attempts - he had a mental illness - possibly BDP and my life had other things in it sure - but my mind was totally absorbed with where he was and what he was doing and when he died I was not exactly at a lose end but definitely zoned-out - and it took a long time to find my feet in life again even though I did go own with a lot of what I was doing

My marriage ended though - this often happens

So I get what you are saying - what do you do now after so long caring for your husband - actually - it's time to care for yourself now and I think that it will be hard to shift gears and do that

As I said earlielr - January is not the best time to start looking for new outlets - I have found that TV advertising is even boring right now - and it's repeats - repeats and repeats on TV and the occupations people turn to the rest of the year are not happening right now

But the world does come back in February - and until then I suggest you think about what interests you and make an effort to start something - anything interesting to you - and try it - if it's not for you - try something else

You are not letting your husband down in anyway by trying to find a new life for yourself

It's hard trying to start a new life - but it can be done - and I know how difficult it must be even though divorce is a different thing it does have something in common and that's the essence of being alone and all that entails - I find it difficult to think about things alone when it would be so great to have someone close to talk to - so yes - these things are not easy

I wish you the best Starta

Dec

@Owlunar.

Im so very sorry about your son, not just words but from my heart.

Im having a difficult day today, I'm also sorry I have taken a while to answer, tomorrow is the 3 months of John not being here.

The sad memories won't go,

Thank you for sharing your story.

Im just not able to do anything atm.

I appreciate your suggestions,

sorry my words are not coming I just feel so lost, uncertain, about everything

Sending a warm hug and thoughts @Starta. Siting with you...............❤️

Good evening @Starta

Popping in to see if you are okay. Thinking of you ❤️

@Starta ..... this image will show up to you as a triangle shape until it has been approved by the moderators.

💐

@Starta, how are you today ? have been thinking of you and sending you tender hugs