StartaSenior Contributor
Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Hello.
I'm not coping at all. I miss my husband so much i lived for him.
I'm not coping at all. I miss my husband so much i lived for him.
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Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
186 replies
In response to: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
StartaSenior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
@Shaz51
Hello and thank you,
Im really not okay, just sit here day and night, I don't want to be here anymore I miss John to much, I should be with him, I don't want to be here.
In response to: Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Unknown userMember
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Feeling for you so @Starta. Is there any way you can be closer to your children and grandchildren for awhile? Thinking of you 🌹
In response to: Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Feeling for you @Starta 
what things do you like doing , going for walks are nice
It is raining here , do you live in town , to have a coffee at a coffee shop , some window shopping
In response to: Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
StartaSenior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
@Shaz51
Hello Shaz,
I have major anxiety/depression, john used to take me out, I never liked or really could go out by myself, anxiety stopped me, John understood and he took me out when I felt I could do. I find it nearly impossible now to go out, John was my well like my security blanket.
In response to: Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
hello @Starta
I totaly understand , My husband has major anxiety/depression too as well as Inherited depression and undiagnosed Bipolar 11 ,He never likes or really go out by himself, anxiety stops him , he wants me to be with him all the time
In response to: Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
StartaSenior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
So many tears I've had today, @Faith-and-Hope, I don't who I'm supposed to tag, but I'm doing ok I guess, just this overwhelming sadness. Earlier I felt so much anger for john, why? I never get angry.
In response to: Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
sending you hugs @Starta
@Former-Member, @Former-Member
In response to: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Illness has tak n my husband from me @Starta. There are no guarantees that he will be diagnosed, or accept treatment if he is ...... and the long-term damage he has likely done to his system can’t be assessed yet either. There are days that I am angry, or crying in despair to what it has done to our marriage and family.
Your emotions will run a gammet if different states as part of the grief process Hon ..... try to just accept it in yourself and acknowledge it, as you have just now ...... by saying, I am SOOOOO angry / sad / disillusioned” ..... own the feelings because they need to be expressed instead of bottled ..... and this is an invaluable function of the forums as well. You can say it here anonymously, and hear, “I hear you” and, “it matters” in response.
It matters because you matter ......
Sending you lots of cyber hugs.
💜💐
Your emotions will run a gammet if different states as part of the grief process Hon ..... try to just accept it in yourself and acknowledge it, as you have just now ...... by saying, I am SOOOOO angry / sad / disillusioned” ..... own the feelings because they need to be expressed instead of bottled ..... and this is an invaluable function of the forums as well. You can say it here anonymously, and hear, “I hear you” and, “it matters” in response.
It matters because you matter ......
Sending you lots of cyber hugs.
💜💐
In response to: Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
StartaSenior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
I'm not wanting this anymore, I can't do this alone, I'm sorry but I just can't. I'm hurting to much @Faith-and-Hope im trying but gosh, I need him so much. I miss his voice, his laughter,his arms around me,his presence, it's so darn hard, one day here, next gone,
In response to: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: Cancer took my husband of 40 years. Not coping.
it’s really hard @Starta ...... I understand, and feel for you.
Having lost my mother whom I loved dearly unexpectedly I can tell you that the raw feelings will lose their immediate sharpness with time ...... you are still on the early, most heart-breaking months when it is all you can see and feel ......
Incrementally other things will begin to creep back into your consciousness and begin to disperse the pain ...... slowly, slowly ...... this is the long goodbye that comes after the immediate shock ....... give yourself time ......
Hugs n hugs Hon. It really sucks.
Having lost my mother whom I loved dearly unexpectedly I can tell you that the raw feelings will lose their immediate sharpness with time ...... you are still on the early, most heart-breaking months when it is all you can see and feel ......
Incrementally other things will begin to creep back into your consciousness and begin to disperse the pain ...... slowly, slowly ...... this is the long goodbye that comes after the immediate shock ....... give yourself time ......
Hugs n hugs Hon. It really sucks.
