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soul’s year of recovery

soul’s year of recovery

Hi - many of you on the forums know me. Thought it might be time to start a new thread.

2017 was an especially awful year for me. I escaped an extremely violent and abusive relationship fleeing the country where I was living and returning to Australia. My mother passed away and I was ostracised from my family. And lastly, just when I thought I was getting my act together and was on holiday, I sustained an injury from an accident which has left me somewhat incapacitated.

I have found a lot of support here and will continue to lean on those who I have come to know as friends. So come along with me as I try to make this year an improvement on last @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Former-Member @utopia @Bunniekins @Former-Member @Determined @outlander @CheerBear @Maggie @TAB @Sans911 @Former-Member @Former-Member @frog @Former-Member @Bimby2 @Appleblossom and anyone else who has followed my story.

When the clock struck 12 on New Year’s Eve, I made a few resolutions and goals in various areas of my life for the coming year. One thing I wanted to do was to regain was my physical fitness. I had been feeling so strong and well before my accident. I had been walking/jogging for at least 10kms each day and going to yoga sessions seven times a week. After my shattered shoulder and nerve damage through my arm, Yoga is out and I was fortunately able to put my membership on hold. I started walking again this past week and can manage 2kms. My arm is still in a sling and feels as heavy as lead and I can’t manage walking the dog yet. I am trying to be as independent as I can be and have seen progress. At least I can shower myself now. I miss being able to do the things I used to - like driving and even hanging out the washing.

Today was my Mum’s birthday so that was really hard. The kids and I went to the park where her ashes were scattered - the rose bush sporting a single feeble looking bloom. Afterwards, we had lunch together so that was nice.

I’ve had a break from medical stuff over the Christmas New Year period but the appointments start back tomorrow with an EMG where they will put electrodes on me and give me electric shocks to assess the nerve damage. Not really my idea of fun.

Anyway - onwards and upwards. That’s the plan in any case.

305 replies

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In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@MDT - you always came across as someone who is very intelligent and given the right opportunities would do well and make a difference. Kudos for you in continually improving yourself. Politics seems like a toxic kind of world to navigate through and I'm happy that you have found some benefits during your time there.

All the best in your hunt for another position. Keep on keeping on ❤️

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@Former-Member - hope you're doing okay. I have tried to find a happy place for yoga but since I moved to the other side of town, haven't been able to. I think I was spoilt with my original studio - it was the perfect place for me at the time I needed it the most. I have set up a place in my home but a long drawn out renovation means that there is clutter all around. I also went to three different studios but the vibe wasn't what I was after.

I am fortunate though to have bushland just down the road from me and often enjoy an hours walk where I come across kangaroos, lizards and birds so that has become a nice connection with nature for me.

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@Faith-and-Hope - I have caught glimpses of your story. Could you fill me in briefly? You have such great strength and always appear to carry on regardless. Your caring nature always shone through.

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@Determined - I'm beyond happy to hear that you have had some really nice things happen in your life and that your attitude to those speed bumps along the way has been positive.

Sad about your Mum in law. One of the certainties of life but never easy.

You'll get that degree eventually and hopefully it will open up doors for you. Covid was indeed a curve ball.

Great news about your boys. Gee - time does fly. Your youngest was just a baby and I can't believe that you have another wanting to drive. Watch out!

And the best thing is that you have found something to enjoy - you are allowed to and I'm glad you have but ...... be careful on the roads - had to add that. Great too that you and your Darling share the two wheel activity as well. Exercise is a wonderful mood lifter.

Take Care ❤️

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@Former-Member - yep, life is really nice for me. Sometimes I think that the person who went through so much awful stuff wasn't me at all. Not sure that it's made me stronger but I am certainly more grateful for what I have. It comes back to haunt me from time to time but I try to put it in its place.

Be kind to yourself ❤️

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@outlander - I wonder how you are doing. I hope there have been some happy times for you and that you have nice things to look forward to.

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

Hi @soul


WH is now my ex, and I have a completely different take on those initials.

When I joined the forums five years ago, so concerned about him caught in the frip

of addictions, and trying to support him and preserve my marriage, family, lifestyle, future I was unaware of what personality disorders are and that addictions are a major marker for one particularly devastating one ...... and he has gone ahead to tick all the boxes and then some.

What I was experiencing was what is referred to as "the devaluation stage", which was followed 18 months ago by "the discard" - complete with secret girlfriend and her children and who had been socialising with D2 behind my back ...... 🤬:face_with_rolling_eyes:

Turns out he had been messing with our finances, also behind my back, for the previous 5 years or more, and believed he had painted me into a corner. I hired lawyers and we have been in legals ever since, but another hallmark of the personality disorder is that they try to destroy whatever they can't control, so the kids and I are still in the midst of cyclone of family law and guardianship.

Hw is being very creative with his version of our life history and relationships ...... with no shame at all ...... and moved back into our housing complex with the gf and her children. Gf is also proving to be vindictive (surprise, surprise).

Then they suddenly moved o/s to a Covid hot spot and are trying to govern guardianship outcomes from there.

Go figure ..... ??!

🤷🏼‍♀️

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@soul- so glad things working out for you, so good to hear when 'recovery' is working, or justis it just luck... I donno but hope the ocean of life stays calmer and you keep afloat💙


@Faith-and-Hope, you said "What I was experiencing was what is referred to as "the devaluation stage" which was followed 18 months ago by "the discard" - gosh that so harsh 😞. So very sorry... you don't deserve that. I didn't realise 1/2 the goings on you nutshelled so well in that post, what the X has done. So sorry 😢

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@soul:D! day one is good bowl of porridge with almond milk and sultanas. Have a great day hunny xxx

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

Re: soul’s year of recovery

Thank you @soul
Those are encouraging words my friend and I need to heed them. Too often in my current role I feel stupid and I sometimes think that people here view me as that. It isn't true. I just haven't been given a chance.

Its a topsy turvy time at the moment in my world. Lots of people around me being promoted not because they are competent but because they are narcissistic. I like what you said earlier in your update post about things always passing because I believe this time of darkness in my life will pass. I just don't know when.
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