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soul’s year of recovery

soulSenior Contributor07 Jan 2018, 10:45 pm AEDT

soul’s year of recovery

Hi - many of you on the forums know me. Thought it might be time to start a new thread.

2017 was an especially awful year for me. I escaped an extremely violent and abusive relationship fleeing the country where I was living and returning to Australia. My mother passed away and I was ostracised from my family. And lastly, just when I thought I was getting my act together and was on holiday, I sustained an injury from an accident which has left me somewhat incapacitated.

I have found a lot of support here and will continue to lean on those who I have come to know as friends. So come along with me as I try to make this year an improvement on last @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Former-Member @utopia @Bunniekins @Former-Member @Determined @outlander @CheerBear @Maggie @TAB @Sans911 @Former-Member @Former-Member @frog @Former-Member @Bimby2 @Appleblossom and anyone else who has followed my story.

When the clock struck 12 on New Year’s Eve, I made a few resolutions and goals in various areas of my life for the coming year. One thing I wanted to do was to regain was my physical fitness. I had been feeling so strong and well before my accident. I had been walking/jogging for at least 10kms each day and going to yoga sessions seven times a week. After my shattered shoulder and nerve damage through my arm, Yoga is out and I was fortunately able to put my membership on hold. I started walking again this past week and can manage 2kms. My arm is still in a sling and feels as heavy as lead and I can’t manage walking the dog yet. I am trying to be as independent as I can be and have seen progress. At least I can shower myself now. I miss being able to do the things I used to - like driving and even hanging out the washing.

Today was my Mum’s birthday so that was really hard. The kids and I went to the park where her ashes were scattered - the rose bush sporting a single feeble looking bloom. Afterwards, we had lunch together so that was nice.

I’ve had a break from medical stuff over the Christmas New Year period but the appointments start back tomorrow with an EMG where they will put electrodes on me and give me electric shocks to assess the nerve damage. Not really my idea of fun.

Anyway - onwards and upwards. That’s the plan in any case.

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In response to: soul’s year of recovery

soulSenior Contributor23 May 2018, 3:24 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@eth @Sophia1 @MDT@Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Former-Member @utopia @Bunniekins @Former-Member @Determined @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Maggie @TAB @Snowie @Sans911 @frog @Niqueeta @Bimby2 @Bubbles3 @Adge @Ant7 @Phoenix_Rising @Former-Member @Former-Member

I am missing my furry friend so much. Yesterday I couldn't get out of bed, let alone go downstairs or outside. Today I have made it downstairs. So many reminders and so many tears - I didn't think I could cry anymore but they keep flowing.

I am still in disbelief that she was okay on Sunday and then not the following day. I keep expecting to see her. I miss the little rituals we had, my walking companion, my confidante, my shadow. I still have her things around - her water dish, her bed, her mat, her toys. Don't know if putting them away helps or not.

My daughter came over last night. We were going to go out for a walk together but neither of us was up to it. The moment she came through the door, she started crying and we sobbed together.

It is so quiet - even though she wasn't noisy - i miss her presence - knowing she was there. The doors are shut, the blinds closed. I can't let the world in. I know that when I venture out, people will ask where she is. I can't deal with that yet. There are so many dogs in the neighbourhood. I want to walk , I should walk but I can't bring myself to do it.

It is soooo hard.

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

utopiaSenior Contributor23 May 2018, 3:39 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@soul. It is a very painful time for you. Sounds like she was family. Try and cherish the memories you shared. And allow yourself time to grieve - it's important.
Sending you love and hugs. ♥♡♥

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Sans911Senior Contributor23 May 2018, 3:39 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

Oh @soul I'm so so sorry you lost your beautiful furbaby. How utterly devasted you must feel. I'm always in fear of loosing my two cats, even though they are young and healthy.

Grieve for your beautiful beloved dog in any manner you see fit and for as long as you need to. And don't let anyone tell you that there 'just a pet'. Gentle hugs my beautiful forum friend.

PS. I'm very encouraged and hopeful for this new relationship. I understand you must be anxious and fearful, but please let him in slowly into your life. We all come with history, some more fragile than others. You have no control over his reaction to that history, but if he is as sensitive as you are describing him, he may be shocked, but it may also bring you closer. I wish you the very best in this situation.

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

ethSenior Contributor23 May 2018, 3:52 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

Sending condolences @soul and sorry for your loss.

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

Unknown userMember23 May 2018, 4:06 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

I strongly empathize with the loss of a dog. I lost my dog a couple years ago and it was devastating. So much so that i ended up inpatient in a psychiatric hospital for a week do the depression caused by the event. Dogs are like people, they are truly part of the family. You need to let yourself mourn. NEVER let anyone tell you "it was just a dog" anyone who says that has no idea what they are talking about. Mourn your beautiful puppy and then when your ready rescue another one. That is what helped me. I rescued a little Chiauwawa / dachshund mix and now she is my fur baby. She will never REPLACE the first dog, but I love her just as much. Getting the new dog is when I truly started healing, I stopped crying every week, I was able to sleep again with her up against me in bed. It made life beautiful again. So my advice is when you're ready, rescue a new dog.

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor23 May 2018, 4:06 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

Feeling for you @soul ..... 😔💜💜💜

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

SnowieSenior Contributor23 May 2018, 4:07 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

I am so sorry for your loss @soul. They really become another member of our family and is such a difficult time. My heart goes out to you

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

Unknown userMember23 May 2018, 4:47 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

@soul 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 - I haven't been on here much but when I read your post I cried. Why??. Is what I first thought. You have been through so much. Grief is so, so hard.... I know what your dog meant to you and I feel devastated for you. I also know what you mean about missing the presence of your daughter...I am in the same boat there. But I was pleased to read that she was there for you - she always will be as will her love.

Sitting with you at this sad time 💜

In response to: Re: soul’s year of recovery

Shaz51Senior Contributor23 May 2018, 5:26 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

It is a very painful time for you, feeling for you @soul

sending you hugs my friend

In response to: soul’s year of recovery

Unknown userMember23 May 2018, 5:29 pm AEST

Re: soul’s year of recovery

Oh @soul I am so sorry to hear about your beloved pooch. Sending very gentle thoughts your way.

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