rough time

There's always a reason for our emotions @outlander

The emotion you have today might not have anything to do with today. It might be from yesterday, last week, month, year or years ago.

It's really important to get in touch with your emotions. Once you can identify why you are sad, angry, etc, then you can start dealing with those emotions.

And @Teej

is right about the process being long and slow. Because you have to keep at it, practicing over and over again. And you can do this. You're willing, smart and you're resilient. You have made good progress, but there's a long way yet. I know you are mostly on your own with this, and you have little professional support, so it's a bit harder. But you have so many people here in these forums who believe in you, want to encourage and support you. Just keep going lil Sis. Keep going.

@Teej

I think both of your posts show real insight, strength of character and personal growth. Its a constant learning environment we're in. I also have big emotions at times, I get all dramatic, carried away, and then I'll finally calm down and think what the heck was that all about. Sometimes it's not until after I can analyse why I acted that way.

It's like my SI, I go from 0 to 100 in 3secs. I'm getting better at realising I'm escalating but I often don't reach for help until I'm at impulse/crisis point. I need to reach for help much earlier in the moment. But I'm trying to learn to ride the moment out as well.

@outlander

Yeah it makes sense @outlander. I have similar feelings and thoughts but have had different experiences. In the last year sometimes I have got better at realising it’s not helpful to look back or forward. When I look forward more than a day I often have suicidal thinking. I think when you get wound up in the future it’s helpful to try to bring yourself back to the now and what is it you can do in this minute that gives you some breathing space. It is sooooooo hard. I have not mastered it at all. I have had my therapist tell me maybe a thousand times about trying to live in the present. It’s finally sinking in.

I think the best thing you can do for you is just be open to experiences and personal development. Good relationships will only develop when you know you well. Take it from me. I thought I was washed up at 21 when I didn’t have a boyfriend. I bought a dog instead. A few months later I met my husband to be. I wish now that I’d known me first. I wanted him to save me, I was clueless that I was the one who had to save me .......for 3 more decades :face_with_rolling_eyes:. So my girl be true to you and know and understand you. I think that if you can work through some of the DBT stuff amongst other things it will help. I really wish you could do it in a group setting. It helped to see others and what they were experiencing too.

it can be so hard to just keep going though sis, it really just feels like this constant roundabout or something. i dont want to give up but it really is just so bloody hard and half the time ive no idea what to do with myself.


"It's like my SI, I go from 0 to 100 in 3secs" thats what it feels like for most of my emotions unless they creep up and then slam me when the slightest thing sets me off. @Sans911

thanks @MDT

Yep 0-100 here too @Sans911, @outlander. I've heard @CheerBear say that too. I don’t even get to work out my thought until after it, the need to switch off dominates. Often by the time it’s passsed I can’t remember it. It does suck lots.

Makes perfect sense @outlander

I also grew up too fast as well because I had no choice. A lot of the things you talk about I felt a lot of the same things you did/do.

The feeling of flatness is also depression @outlander

and even though you say you don't mean to, you have no control over that. Just go with it for now.

All the things you are describing are quite typical of BPD. You can overcome them, but it takes lots of work and time hun.