rough time

* surgury on my hand not mind

ive also commited ot an anzac march tomorrow with my sisters and a group of kids but im not really up for that either, not really sleeping so rather fatigued as well. but i cant back out as im helping, at least its only 2 hrs all up

Sometimes we see a big pile of worries rearing up in front of us like a mountain @outlander ..... but we are not designed to climb a whole mountain in one day .....

We are designed to lay out a day’s work before us, and take the baby steps necessary to work ourself through that one day ..... even though we might peek a little at the next day to see that we are aligning ourselves well enough on the path to move from one day to the next .... and we might take a quick glance at appointments and things for next week ..... and we might even throw a plan a ways ahead of us to work towards, like a special birthday or something ..... but mostly we need to stay focussed on the path in front of our feet and get that part right.

When there is a lot going on, like you have listed, sit down with a pen and paper and look at one part of it at a time ..... your pop, for instance .... are you managing what you need to for him ? Have you got appointments diarised ? Is the necessary paperwork clipped into those pages in the diary ? Is there something you need extra help for, and do you know where to find that ?

Next ... the kids and the holidays / weekend / whatever you are doing with them .... have you got something organised to keep them busy ? Need to write anything into the diary with tickets or paperwork etc ? Then just “have a day” with them.

Dont worry about surgery on your hand unless someone in a medical coat tells you you need surgery on it .... you’ve got enough to worry about .... toss that one to the back of the mountain .....

Is this helpful ?

You’re living something like a personal assistant role @outlander .....so gear up for that with your organisation, but once that is done, most days will sorta run themselves if you just take the baby steps in the moment.

Pull yourself up over “catastrophiisng” thinking, and letting things spiral into a tunnel where everything looks dark .... and if you can’t manage that effectively by yourself please, then a counsellor, perhaps even phone counselling in the moment, can help .....

How’s that ? Anything making sense ?

it definently looks like a mountain atm @Faith-and-Hope and everything youve said does make sense. i didnt really think to break it down into smaller steps.

im oragnised fairly well- diaries organised with appts events etc, papers are in a folder if and when i need them and if i need something else ill take a look online/print as needed. its not so much the organisational side of things i think. its more the mental and physical capacity to do these things. its so draining. pop atm despite me sitting down and talking to him as often as he wants/needs, it feels like a constant droan of things. im trying to listen to him but i cant seem to stay focussed all the timeand often its the same things hes complaining about. i know him loosing his independence is hard for him so i am pretty tolerant with all of that and try to understand it all from his point of view as well but sometimes it gets too much so i zone out. theres a few things he wants help with physically like sleep apnoea and 2 other things but he wont allow me to make those appointments for him to get help. ive sat down and talked to him about it and suggested he see a gp- the 2 other things are minorish -old injuries flaring up but the things ive suggested for him to do he wont so i suggest a gp as he listens to them but he says no. its affecting me that way becauses its rather draining and can be frustrating but when i get even abit frustrated at him he gets upset with me so i have to keep myself in check constantly which is hard to do sometimes.

with the kids they drain me as well, if i only had them every now and then it would be more ok but so far these holidays ive only had 1 day away from that role and a family outing to the zoo. im trying to keep them occupied with either one bigger thing or a few smaller things. i wouldntexpect them to sit at home all the time so i try to find activities but with being easily worn out atm and limited in some things i can do that i would normally be able to do like take them riding i cant do right now so it gets abit tricky and very limited funds as well theres only so much bike/scooter rides, window shopping and movies will do. its all been big stuff this week, which im realising maybe should have been spread out abit more but its the way its all worked out so cant change it now.

ive gotten better at the catastrophising thinking, sometimes though it happens so quick i find it hard to stop like the example of worrying about the kids. i was ok with it all until the day they went out, i woke up with the panic attack realising what was happening that day.

i wont know much more about my hand till i see the specialist. no one knows how to splint my finger properly or what the hell to do atm either including having a sore underneath that they dont know how to treat. i need to call up on monday to see when im able to get in to see her, hopefully asap so i tcan start healing and can get a proper treatment plan

Falling asleep here @outlander ..... catch up with you tomorrow.

Nite .... 💤

@outlander

Its great you are looking at your catastrophic thinking and ways to manage it.

About your hand ... Fingers crossed for you. Salt water on wound and keep it dry ... Tape the 2 fingers together even your kid sisters can help a bit with that. Give them some caring behaviours ..

I am logging off now ... need to be up early tomorrow.

Take care.

You do have a lot of responsibilities ... great you are organised ... wish your folk appreciated you more.