rough time

yup no intentions of moving in a hurry today @Sans911

when you do your workshop things for your oils, do you ask people to pay at all? a small amount per person might help you abit too for the smaller things like a coffee on your morning walk. i dont have a problem paying for services or workshops that i think i would benefit from like the oils. just a thought for you perhaps.

sounds like a easy going day too, paperwork is fun isnt it- not. your doing great with it all though. very dedicated. its an ok day here weather wise but have some rain on the way i dont mind though. i gave up the weeks holiday care and will try for next week as theres not a lot on.

i love little jasper, he is such a character. i wish pop would let me have a cat though atm its not the environment with shite everywhere while im saving for a skip bin that no one else seems to want to help me with (its not my stuff but its my house and i hate the mess)

thank you sis for your help, i know it gets frustrating. it often frustrates and upsets me when i so badly want to do more than sit behind a screen and try to help that way rather than be with the person and helping them through it. it also gets frsutrating for me saying the same things even if i need help with it. i know what youll say to that as youve already said it.

i try to be honest but alot of the time i feel ignored like when they constantly tell me im doing well and im not and then i try to say something and it gets brushed off- or thats what it feels like to me. its like their mind is already made up then doesnt matter what i say, i went to the medical centre last night because it was the only thing open, dr checked nope doesnt need sutures, put some of the steri strips on to help keep it more closed as it keeps 'leaking' watch for infection and 'that was a rather silly thing to do wasnt it' look and talk.

im not really sure what else to do, i feel like im forever trying to change my supports or help understand their point of view or come at it from another angle to try and explain myself better. im just not very good at talking offline. on here i can get it out usually but offline i stutter and stumble, go blank, cant get anything out so it makes it harder i guess to explain how i am actaully feeling. im also scared to go back to hospital. i really dont want to go back there and i know i need to put myself forst but im scared of there and would rather the help on the outside.

i feel very hopeless atm and unsure of what else to do. the hope i do have left is what youve been describing, i dnt 'know' you, i dont know what your actually doing besides prevention work but that is enough to know and to hear these sorts of successes that things just might get better and theres others out there working to help others change gives me that bit of hope.

is that a good or a bad thing about the response? @Sans911

that is good, i hope many turn up i wish someone would hold something like that in my area.

im not sure whats going on in my area re mh professionals but we do have some well known psychiatrists for our area and i see one of them. she works in hospitals, private and medicare as well. sometimes i think maybe if i go private (and if i could afford it) maybe it would make a difference. or maybe i need to learn to speak better, i cant blame the mh professionals unfortunatly. alot of it is on me.

what i think mightve helped but i dont have around here is sort of like what snowie had where they had the group sessions but its still in a controlled environment with supports. where i am i have more like a respite but its not like yours, its still very high in security, no phones etc and max 3 night stay except i was there for a week last time because i come in involuntarily on a weekend then stayed the 3 nights after the friday/sat/sun was over.

when i was in the community mh team, they said i have BPD, and sent a letter to both my psychiatrist and gp and they both agreed so i think they have diagnosed it but i cant say 100% for sure. EUPD? ive never heard of it?

im in nsw so vic wouldnt be too much help but will see what else there is around.

and thank you for what you wrote, i cant see those good points but the rest youve hit the nail on the head

thank you @Sans911 and i hope your day is going ok for you. i really appeciate you help

ill have a look at the bpd foundation and see if theres some other options as well.

im worried about something with a mh worker though- what if i talk bad about family and they want to get other services involved? i dont want like social services involved.

ill still take a look but if i contact the services what do i say? like the bpd foundation.

oh i hate mh, it stresses me out that i feel i cant ask for help or worry when i do ask. i really just want my family not involved at all. is that posisble with a mh worker?