rough time

When I was about your age I used to go driving to find some solace too. There were a few spots I'd sometimes sit at in the car. Looking back, one of those was a bit reckless, but it suited how I felt, waves smashing onto the rocks near where I parked.

The last time I did that was one night during a cyclone and when I parked, I didn't care about the height of the waves, but when the car got splashed I realised I was damaging my poor car through no fault of its and moved away while I still could.

I did love my car, it symbolised my freedom, so was very dear to me and I figured I really should be taking better care of it.

Went home and at first light I washed that car to within an inch of it's life so the salt water wouldn't rust it.

Those terrible feelings did pass, I want you to know that. The awful doesn't last forever, it will change, I won't lie, but you are very strong and have things you want to do, to see and to make and learn about, I know this by the way you write and draw and communicate.

Today, just for today, maybe just for a moment, maybe you can focus on a pretty or interesting thing that pleases your sensitivities. Like a nice view, that's a nice settling thing to do.

I wish I could hug you so instead (((( @outlander ))))

Oh, love, they're not being much help then are they! Breathe, just breathe, let things settle just for a bit today. I hear you.

I'm wondering about the sorts of options there might be for you to be able to talk this out. Would writing a journal of your feelings, a cathartic letter that doesn't get sent, something where you could let the feelings out help?

Not focusing on the situation, but as a way to let out the emotional stuff, even cry about it as you write as that often helps clear our mind and helps find a different path through the mire.

Also, whatever it is you used would need to be totally private so it's only yours, unless you choose to let someone else read it. I've done this sort of thing over and over.

I saw someone in an alternative field years ago who gave me a list of things to work on. This was on that list and it helped a lot, it still does. You can destroy the writings after you written them, or keep them safe and look back at them to see how far you've come.

Ah, sweetie, I think I understand what you're going through. The recent festival time and associated occurences caused an overload for me, something similar to what you're saying. It was hard, really hard, and thankfully, I did not have to socialise with anyone who was going to make it worse.

On the other hand you have had your pains and heartaches exacerbated by the dismissal of those you'd normally be expected to be able to depend on to help. It's really understandable that you'd be feeling less than your usual upbeat self.

Would throwing some paint on some paper help maybe? That's made me remember a session with my gp (not a very good one) years ago.

I'd used the kids paints to paint a wild and mangled emotional scene to release my feelings, it was pretty scrambled and confusing looking (a bit Blue Poles style). The doc loved it and bought it from me. I figured sure, I could do with the money ($30 was what she gave me). I guess she used it for one of her MH seminars or something to get credits for her own agenda.

But, what I'm saying is that it worked for me to release some of that pent up emotional stuff I'd been carrying around with me.

Eventually you'll hit on some extra things that will help @outlander,or a whole bag of things that will help when the big big times roll around like this.

I like the worry box, I don't have one these days, but I used to and it did help lots too.

Have you found a nice view or are you still sitting?

Oh, sweetheart

would you like to chat with a moderator maybe? would that be useful at all, to keep you company? I'm afraid I'm going to have to go shower and get some food.

have you eaten and had some water to drink in the last few hours @outlander? That's really important to do. Some nuts or your sustagen drink? I'm going to have my pea protein powder blitzed with a bit of banana I think.

I guess I"m my harshest critic, as most of us are, hey, about the painting stuff. I can see the skill in some things, like crochet and tatting because there is a recognised baseline to judge by, but with writing and artwork, it's all up to an individual, so subjective.

OOh, awful person telling you your art was shit! Jealous they were I'll bet. It hurts though, and makes you doubt your skill and creativity.

I'm a writer, went to a class given by a winner of an award for one book (I mean that was great success, not putting that down) who told me my work (which was regularly being published but she didn't know that) would never get seen by anyone and was so off the mark that it was not worth coming back to their classes).

Although she's wrong, those viscious comments still have impact on my work and has hindered me in completing a series of stories very near completion for publishing. That is one battle I continue to fight, getting back to my writing.

Is there somewhere you can go to rest, like a cheap hotel room, a refuge near you where they might be able to help. I'm not sure what is available, if anything. Being able to escape to a safe place where you can sleep undisturbed would potentially be a nice thing. Cost, i know, just ... ideas.

sorry I'm going to have to go, hun. Need to shower and dress properly.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Glad you're here @MDT I don't feel so horrible leaving Outlander now.