rough time

@outlanderI am sorry I wasn't around but glad you had support on here. Hope you are going a bit better now

thanks @MDT some people are mean but still affects others nonetheless. hope your enjoying your holiday ❤️

@Former-Member

i got home about an hr ago, had a shower, tea and something small. i am tired, i didnt go to a new driving place i just sat there for hrs and dont feel any different to what i did before i left. hope you enjoyed your drink/smoothie?

hearing them say about my art was really hard but guess thats life. cant all be good at arts/crafts can we. they were really good- they sell their own arts and have their own buissiness.

i am sure your writing is loveley but i get how it would be affecting you esp while writing and her 'voice' pops into your head and makes you doubt the entire thing. you should try to finish your books one by one and publish them.

i barely have enough money to pay my bills atm so i need to be careful what i spend things on atm. im home now but in my room so i dont have to deal with pop and im ignoring any phone calls and msgs unless urgent. its just me and pop at home so i sleep relativley undisturbed by others but being a carer im still on high alert all the time. plus i dont slepe that much- chronic insomnia and most sleepers dont help me

please dont feel bad about leaving, thank you for being here for me

plase done apologise theres no need @Snowie no im not going any better. i cant ring a helpline either as i have a feeling what will happen if i do and i cant afford that to happen even though it might be the right answer atm

@outlander I know you don't want to ring a helpline, but it might be for the best. I know you don't want it taken further, however if it is the right answer like you are saying it is, then perhaps it might be the best decision. Your safety and welfare is more important atm

i dont know @Snowie causes too much drama when i go to hosp and id really rather not end up there again. ill..see how i go...for now.. im using my safety plan and trying to 'float' for now. i am tired.

Hun I know it causes drama (does here too) but want what is best for YOU!

Well done for using your safety plan @outlander. Hopefully that tiredness will turn into sleep

i know sis, i just.. cant @Snowie

all these panic attacks you would think id sleep well but i dont and havent been. i need to speak to pdoc and about meds again i think

@outlanderI do think you need to speak to the pdoc about meds again. There has to be something that can help and there are so many different dosages too.

i see her again on the 26th. i stopped seeing her because i didnt need to. im not on meds except one which hasnt been adjusted from the lowest dose since ive been on it a few months ago and its doing nothin at all @Snowie i have a feeling i know whats shes going to say but only 4 different meds- surely theres another i could try hey. they said all the other ones they dont want to try because of my side effects. the worst i had was the weight gain and one that caused a rash. the others just had no effect on me at all even at max dose.

ill see what she says though. id be happy for even a prn med to help with the anxiety attacks atm but i dont think they will help me with those either as they said the same thing before. guess we never can tell though can we.