rough time

Yeh I know 😞
@Former-Member
Its worse that she is constantly msging me about the stuff shes buying for the kids. Its making me really upset. Its not the jealousy but now i feel so much more pressure to ride. I told her i wasnt joining in with the shows yet. And my responses have been very simple yes no and ok replies. Im hoping its finished now being 10 oclock at night.
And pops upset at me too and i keep having meltdowns or it turns me into a snappy person and its upsetting everyone 😞
This is why i hide in my room unless neccessary
And the kids are goinf to say they are bored by 11oclock but i dont have the energy to drive around or go shopping and i cant stand the park. Maybe itll rain tomorrow too and then we can watch movies or something indoors

@outlander I nor anyone else can make you do anything, but you lack support of professionals, and when you are overwhelmed by everything you lack judgement and insight into your capacity to know if you are ok and what you can do to reduce your distress. Professionals can help and support you with this. You only need tell them what you want them to know, but by being honest it helps them. You have ights to be treated with respect and decency, be involved in the process of making decisions in your care and treatment. So although you need to trust someone, you still have lots of control over things. No one is an island. And if that person lacks responsibility and fails to protect you go to the next person. Don't be treated either disrespect or apathy. Get mad with them if this happens, and tell everyone what they did.

Ad scared as you are, you know ignoring tests will just led to more distress and anxiety and potential bigger problems down the line. Get it done and out the way. Then there is time to focus on the next thing ahead of you. You can do this

I dont know if i can do it @Queenie its too hard to ask for help and i dont know if i can trust them but i also dont see what other choice i have. 😞
Why does it have to be so complicated.
The procedure is basically putting a needle in and draining the stuff out of a cyst of course its another breast cyst. This is the 4th one and they cant work out why they keep coming back. I had one burat and that was really bad and had a bad infection from it the other 2 were small and basically drained themselves. This one they want to drain before it bursts. I am terrified.
Dont worry ill have my forum family with me. They always are.


Its hard knowing i may not ride again 😞 only 2 yrs ago my room was covered in champion ribbons. I took them down last yr and put them away and when i was redecorating my room i found the box and it really hit a nerve. I dont know what to do. I want to ride again but maybe not at the level i once was and my mothetmr doesnt know and i cant tell them. They just get angry at me when i sont want to ride or i avoid going to the horses. But its really just breaking my heart.

I would have to be pretty sick or dead for the expectations to stop. Its not just her its my pop and sisters and her bf and everyone i meet. Atm its all hard even breathing im struggling to do atm

@Sans911 ok ill try...I am so nervous.... But yes i do need abit of help and will have to learn to trust them again.
And yeh i know im not having another repeat of last time with this. I will close my eyes and go to my happy place for a few minutes while its being done.

Thank you @Former-Member ❤❤ i hope you can get some sleep 💕💕

You still around @Queenie @Sans911