rough time

its my turn to be leaky tonight 😞

thanks @Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member

just a frustrating an upsetting day, its just really hard right now 😞

drs, pop, being sick, its all just.. hard

please excuse if its not making the best sense atm, im rather all over the shop at the moment and still trying to process it msyelf.

Drs today were upsetting and frustrating. Shes making me choose between my physical and mental health. My only option she said is to go back onto the meds that have casued this much weight gain. She told me to come off them too as it was becoming detrimental to my health

I am too scared to go back on them. She said to go on the very minimal dose to see if itll help with sleep and to take them and the mood stabilisers at night as they work well together. She doesnt want me to go up either because of it. She expalined no other options because of my past reactions as in the weight gain. She wont prescribe other meds, she wont refer me to a sleep specialist either despite telling her agitated and resltess I get when I go to bed.

Took a look at bloods again and everything is fine including my thyroid and everything else. So I dont have a stomach ulcer. She wants to do another few tests for my physical conditions (not my stomach problems)

Told her about my cripling stomach troubles- to the point now im on nutritial suppliment drinks and can only drink half at a time (each serve is 250mls-1cup). It feels like everything is 'siezing' up and goes really crampy and like everything is throbbing. I just feel like throwing up but its worse it just sits there making me feel gross. I get hungry every now and then and take that as an indication to have something small but it always seems to be the wrong choice. I cant live off the suppliment drink so have been trying to eat very small amounts through the day.

She said is probably my mental health causing since ive had it for more than a week (if it was a bug it would be gone and wouldve showed up on bloods) or possible the med changes yet I havent changed them for a few weeks now so not sure why thats possible.

So after all this is has been a rather emotional, frustrating and upsetting day and feeling all over the shop right now. I dont know what to think or feel. Its just everywhere and all over the place.

Im suppose to go to the social group tomorrow but the mornings are the worst and I dont know if I can handle it. Its obviously not catching otherwise others would be experiencing it too and they arent as ive asked.

I need a break from everything, from life.

needed to edit something-sorry

@Sans911@Snowie@Former-Member@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope

sorry its so hard for you both too atm @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member hugs

@Former-Memberwill check your thread as i think you wrote on there earlier...

@Snowiei also hope your enjoying your concert

@Sans911i hope your appts went well today, if you want to talk more than happy to. might be a good ditraction for me too

and i forgot to get my pain meds scripts which i really need atm so have made another gp appt tomorrow arvo to get scripts. im not very good at this keeping track thing am i 😞