outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
One step at a time ❤ @Sans911 abit of extra sleep might do some good 💜
In response to: rough time
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Sorry to hear it too @Sans911 ..... and I hope for the best outcome for all of them.
💐💕
💐💕
In response to: rough time
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Thanks @outlander
I am unnaturally nervous about it today
Weird because I have been doing it for a few weeks now
Got my sudokus and book ready though.
Get my coffee hit on the way
Walking sounds like a great idea because it may make you hungry
I am unnaturally nervous about it today
Weird because I have been doing it for a few weeks now
Got my sudokus and book ready though.
Get my coffee hit on the way
Walking sounds like a great idea because it may make you hungry
In response to: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Morning @outlander glad you got some sleep last night.
@Sans911my heart goes out to you. Such shocking news and devastating for all involved. Hopefully she can get the help she needs but know how much it takes too. Big hugs hun 
In response to: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
My beautiful cyber-grand girl Claire @outlander
I hear you
I know that feeling of lost.
Of missed opportunities.
Of losing all individual control.
. . . even of yourself {eating, drinking, sleeping, peeing, pooping, thinking}
I too have learnt to trust in the processes of my brain. It is malfunctioning but it functions.
How did I learn that? By doing it for over half a century.
I have learnt that at times my brain has to sit on the bottom & feel it & it has to do that for however long it takes for it to switch, & then it will naturally begin to rise, slowly.
When you think about it, even if your out of control, like screaming swear words in public, who can you trust more than yourself. So I'd say try; try to trust yourself just that little bit, enough to let yourself believe in yourself just a little & know your brain will rise for you
NN
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@MDTim sure youll be ok, walking didnt help so skipped it just not long got back from watching my sisters ride their horses. i had a small snack and feel yuk from it. will see how its sits for the rest of the day.
@Snowiehoping your adjusitng a little better today but no rush at all
hi @Faith-and-Hope hoping your going ok
@Former-Memberthank you for the tips, i dont trust myself so thats something to learn. it might if i learnt that even just a little bit. ""I have learnt that at times my brain has to sit on the bottom & feel it & it has to do that for however long it takes for it to switch, & then it will naturally begin to rise, slowly."" sounds like youve described reslience in that part, a good thing to have. i hate sitting on the bottom, might need to bring blankets and pillows with me so its at least abit more comfortable while working through what needs to be done...
In response to: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
To answer you from yesterday @outlander, the way I accept things or life as it is is by using a DBT skill called Radical Acceptance. It's not an easy skill to use, because using it feels like kind of going against so many things.
First of all what I had to do was grieve for my losses. Loss of my job (on the ship & also loss of work last year). I'm still in the process of grieving but I'm now more accepting of those losses as I know I'm potentially moving into an where I can be passionate and helpful. Radical acceptance is about accepting things as they are. Even if you don't agree that it's fair, right, moral, ethical or whatever, you accept this is how things are for now, over & over & over again.
It's also how I accepted my SI/SH as a coping mechanism. It wasn't ideal or healthy but until I found another way to cope it was the way for now. And I'm now finding other ways to cope. So I radically accept that for now, I have to focus on my basic needs because much more than that is too much for me to handle & I tend to be overwhelmed. I have to radically accept that I can't work because it's too much. And I have to radically accept that I need to seek help with changing my behaviours, thoughts and feelings as I can't do it myself and they are no longer effective for me. These things have been really, really hard to accept, and I fought against them for months. I was totally overwhelmed, angry with myself & the world, thought everything was unfair, and that I was never going to get better, so why bother trying to accept things.
I still struggle with accepting things, but it's getting easier. Again, I need to trust in the process and transition of change. It might be quite a long process which irks me, and there might be lots of stops, starts and going forwards two paces only to fall 3paces back. When this happens I need to refocus, continue to make small, achievable goals. And reward myself for achieving those goals.
I don't know if this will help you, but it is worth trying., 💠💠💠
First of all what I had to do was grieve for my losses. Loss of my job (on the ship & also loss of work last year). I'm still in the process of grieving but I'm now more accepting of those losses as I know I'm potentially moving into an where I can be passionate and helpful. Radical acceptance is about accepting things as they are. Even if you don't agree that it's fair, right, moral, ethical or whatever, you accept this is how things are for now, over & over & over again.
It's also how I accepted my SI/SH as a coping mechanism. It wasn't ideal or healthy but until I found another way to cope it was the way for now. And I'm now finding other ways to cope. So I radically accept that for now, I have to focus on my basic needs because much more than that is too much for me to handle & I tend to be overwhelmed. I have to radically accept that I can't work because it's too much. And I have to radically accept that I need to seek help with changing my behaviours, thoughts and feelings as I can't do it myself and they are no longer effective for me. These things have been really, really hard to accept, and I fought against them for months. I was totally overwhelmed, angry with myself & the world, thought everything was unfair, and that I was never going to get better, so why bother trying to accept things.
I still struggle with accepting things, but it's getting easier. Again, I need to trust in the process and transition of change. It might be quite a long process which irks me, and there might be lots of stops, starts and going forwards two paces only to fall 3paces back. When this happens I need to refocus, continue to make small, achievable goals. And reward myself for achieving those goals.
I don't know if this will help you, but it is worth trying., 💠💠💠
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@Sans911 @Snowie how are you both going today?
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Oh snap @Sans911
In response to: Re: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I am ok @outlander just taking things slowly today. How are you going?
Afternoon @Sans911 
