rough time

hi @MDT i dont have any goals right now. sorry your struggling tonight too

@Snowieyour always sitting with me, dont ever doubt that. if anyone had answers i think that would be the end of mh which would be good. so you would suggest trying to ride it out for now and try and get my mh stable and work on the basics again like sleeping eating etc... i thought i was becoming addicted to the sleeping meds i wasnt evn suppose to be on so had to throw them in the bin cant deal with an addiction and then withdrawal on top of this shite.

its so frustrating and upsetting feeling like im trapped in a glass box but i dont really know how to get out of it either. tried dinner- still can touch it- maybe later on..

Like you, @Snowie and I am sure many others here, I also very lost right now @outlander. I was quite lost before I started nursing, and my career helped me to find direction, focus on what I wanted to do next and what I wanted to acheived. I have been lost for several years now, particularly after I was not allowed to work. I still don't know where I want to go, what I want to do or how I am going to do. It took me a long time to accept that I need to trust in the process of transition and change, and trust during or after this time those answers will come to me. For now I focus on the basics- taking good care of my health-physical & mental (challenges you have in spades hun), taking care of my hygeine, getting adequate rest, exercising a little, and getting involved in social activities. Being able to do other things is a bonus and a reward.

While I know you don't like being idle, the opposite-doing too much- can be just as detrimental. By all means, doing short courses is great as it stimulates your mind (and may even count towards shortening you uni degree). I didn't start university until I was 26, I hadn't finished year 12 and so I had to apply as a mature age student. Before that I spent some years regretting not finishing year 12, the low paying jobs and the struggles financially. But I don't regret those now. There was no way possible for me to finish year 12. My life at that time was a mess and just awful. My relationship with my mother had completely broken down, I was in the grips of severe depression & an eating disorder, I was SH frequently and had several SA. And those jobs and time gave me time to figure out who I might be and what did I want to do to feel purposeful and productive and good about myself.

So what I am saying is don't fret too much. You are still young, and yes you have grown up very fast with many responsibilities you really shouldn't have at your age, but there is still time to figure yourself out & what direction or purpose you want in life. Focus right now on taking good care of your physical and mental health, one step at a time. Focus on simple things that you get pleasure from. Your future is ahead of you, and I have often said from what I know of you, I see huge potential for a rewarding life for you.

thank you @MDT for your help