rough time

Hi @outlander,

That is extremely odd that the psychologist diagnosed you with BPD, recommended DBT, and then you were somehow signed out of being on the waiting list for DBT.

From what you're saying, if you end up back in hospital, you can re-engage with the MH team and thus get back onto the DBT wait list. Of course ending up in hospital would be a bazillion miles from ideal, but it does sound like it would be a pathway back into re-engaging with the MH team so all is not lost on that front.

If the DBT psychologist is on maternity leave, that indicates she will return to work at some point, so that is another source of hope. It sounds like you are in the same place I was in with TTT - I knew 15 months ago that she was the right therapist for me, but she was taking maternity leave in early 2017 and that's why I couldn't see her then.

I definitely know how hard it is to wait @outlander. It is so so SO hard. But having to wait, and having no options at all, are different things. Do you know how long the DBT psychologist is on maternity leave for?

If you are wanting to learn to manage your thoughts and emotions rather than actually heal the trauma, I'd suggest you can do that through the DBT book you have, support here in Forum Land, and the wonder of Google. I don't think there is any magic secret technique that a therapist can teach you, that isn't available through one of those other avenues.

I guess that's what I meant by problem solving - identifying what you need and then figuring out ways to get it. So, for example, to learn emotion regulation techniques, you could read the relevant module in your DBT book and do some research online. This is something that you can do, which in turn can help give a sense of control and mastery, which is a cool feeling and quite incompatible with feelings of hopelessness. I super love the empowered feeling.

@outlander I super like your dream catcher!

hi @Phoenix_Rising i thought it was odd too, she said that when i was ready i can call up and go back on the list. they rung be a bout a week after seeing the mh team but i said i wasnt ready but to keep me in the list. she confirmed details and said she will put me in the next group. so when i rung up to find out it come as abit of a shock to be told im not even on the list and havent been for a while now. she said the psych that gave me those assessments had signed me off from the service.

if i was to go back to hospital theres still a high chance i wont be within the mh team becasue i have a gp (who hasnt got a clue what to do and says ive used the resources avalaible) a psychiatrist (who doesnt think i need a mh referral to them and also says im out of options through her) and the psychologist i dont get along with but i really dont have any other options.

um im not too sure when she will be back the last email they said they cant give me the details of when she will be back so ive got no idea. she also wanted to do exposure therapy after doing dbt or a combination of both so i can lessen my triggers and become less sensitive to those as well.

the current psych i have mightve been ok if she didnt confuse the hell out of me in what she was saying. im not sure how a sesison is suppose to work only speaking about things on the day and how im feeling on the day of the session. not how ive been,or whats troubling me. the 2 things shes told me to do was write out my triggers and to create a vision board- done the triggers but not the board.

good work mods! wow that was really quick to be approved @Phoenix_Rising

thanks 🙂 its lopsised in the pic ive realised

@outlander I think it is very pretty actually an will look lovely hanging up. Well done 😄 xx

thanks @Bunniekins 🙂

I love your dream-catcher heart: @outlander 🙂

Beautiful colours 🙂 I've made a few myself, though I bead them mainly {well I used to}. I wonder if I can find a pic, I've given them all away. Will you hang it above your bed?

NN

oh wow really! id love to see them if you can find any @Former-Member they were really tricky to make but was a good distraction and challange today. i have to get a nail so i can hang it up. its hanging on the end of my bed atm. it matches my quilt cover lol.

Hi @outlander,

It sounds like something went awry with you being taken off the waiting list for the DBT program. If it was me, I would be making a BIG song and dance about that. It also makes no sense that you would be excluded from the program just because you have a GP and a psychiatrist - most people with MH issues have a GP and a psychiatrist.

If you were to work on the DBT skills between now and when the DBT psychologist comes back from maternity leave, then you could show her that you already have a handle on that stuff and thus dive straight into the exposure therapy stuff with her. Indeed, even if that person wasn't back by the time you felt you were ready to do exposure therapy, you could perhaps find a psychologist to specifically do that with. You see? You do have options. Things aren't hopeless - they are just harder work and take much longer than any of us would like!

Obviously I don't know exactly what your current psychologist said, but it does kind-of make sense to focus on what's currently happening. For example, TTT and I haven't talked about my history at all yet...and we are up to about session 9! At the moment we are just focused on me staying alive while I deal with having been banned from calling the HC. As TTT pointed out, staying alive is a prerequisite to us working together - she doesn't work with dead people. I wonder if your psychologist is thinking along those lines??? Alternatively, it may be that she is aware you are only going to have 10 sessions with her and thus she knows she can't do any more than really basic surface stuff with you. Most psychologists recognise that 10 sessions is hopelessly inadequate for most people and that they can only ever provide a bit of social support and some band-aid solutions in that short time frame.

The idea of writing out your triggers and creating a vision board sounds like a good idea. Is the vision board a board of the things that trigger you?

Here you go heart: @outlander 🙂

They're not the best pics, but they're all I can find.

I made this 1 for my child, who's into Vampires & undead things! (OO) :X 😄 It has the skull of a bat {that I found already deceased & put on a meat ants nest, then soaked in bleach, before painting it silver - hope that's not too gross?!?} The outside beads are wooden, the inside 1's are Onynx, silver & various semi-precious stones.

I made this 1 for my youngest grandgirl, who has nightmares {as does my child} It's done in plastic beads {I thought it might get broken & didn't want to put too much expense into it} but the Fairy, moons and chain are all silver.

This 1 I did for my eldest grandgirl, it's made from the pieces of an antique chandelier 🙂

They were all made as Xmas presents, most of my life I've not been able to afford gifts - especially as my family grew . . . so I made them instead 🙂

Love you you Claire

NN