rough time

Lee, talk to me please

@Lee82 💜 Nikki

I want nothing more than to fight this for us together. But I can't control the flashbacks. They just happen. No warning. They come in and then go straight out but they leave a path of destruction. Long lasting feelings of pain and hurt that last well into the morning only to come back again the next night. @Former-Member
How do we control the flashbacks. I am scared they will always be a part of my life for the rest of my life. I can't keep this up. I fall apart every night and then the next day with all the feeling and emtions as well as the physical pain from SH still lingering I have to put it all away in a box and hide it away and try and be happy and normal and functional because I have two boys to look after. My body and mind can't keep this up much longer. @Former-Member

I have no control over them either Lee, and I have the same fears as you obviously minus the repeated SH. I understand also the struggle of putting it into a box everyday no matter how hard it is, no matter how much pain your in because you have to look after your kids. While I don't have to because the kids I do to have to go to work, I have to show the world that I can look after myself even if it's a lie.

babe please @Lee82

I am afraid I am going to end up in hospital again. My psychologist is becoming more and more insistent which makes me not want to be completely honest with her about things because she has the power to send me to hospital against my will. Which means I am not getting the professional help from her I need. I don't know what to do. @Former-Member

I just want the noise in my head to stop.

It's breaking my heart that I can't help you can't give you a hug. All I can do is stay with you for as long as I can tonight and hope that makes it a little easier for you.

I am sorry it not enough, I fear it's not enough. Please, I know how much going to hospital is scary and how it's not a great time but ask yourself what happens when it's too late? @Lee82

Please my love @Lee82 💜Nikki

Are you there babe? 💜Nikki

@Lee82

Oh Nikki how are you my friend? I'm so sorry I saw your name and I burst into tears. You needing to protect Kymberly?
@Former-Member

No babe, you

@Lee82

Oh Nikki...that is way too my kindness for me....Kymberly emotions must have been really strong for you to feel them...thank you. You have no idea what that means to me right now. I am shaking.
@Former-Member