rough time

Yes my love, just took a little while type as it was long. Apparently I talk a lot @Lee82

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@Former-Member wrote:

Sweetie, I can absolutely understand why you would think that. But can I ask you to stop and think about the word "weak" and see if that's how you feel or is it a word you have heard people use towards you a lot.

I put on the avenges, the quickest way to calm inner child is with something she really enjoys or give her ice cream

(personally I think we have enough ice cream lately).

I hope you believe me when I say I am so very sorry you are still feeling the after effects of your panic attack. I get not wanting others to see what is happening for you. We are taught to hide our MH and it sucks. Is there anything that helps with it at all?

No I said goodnight to Nat a little bit ago, I had to tell her to go. She really is amazing. I will let you know when I am ready for bed my love.

the longer I talk to you the more I am growing to love you like the rest. I hope you know this is real friendship even though we haven't actually spoken. The amazing peace that we have right now is thanks to you. I can tell you one thing, the wait for you to reply seem endless even when it's been only five minutes 😁 Please let me know if you want to get some rest my love

@Lee82

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Did you see this one @Lee82

My turn, is everything ok Lee

@Lee82

@Lee82

https://youtu.be/_Gcrx2Ab0FM

No I believe I'm weak. I dont stand up for myself against the people that treat me wrong. I don't fight for what I need. I never fought back to the people who abused me. I just let it happen. I quit when things get tough. I can't seem to get myself out of this big black hole I got myself into. I want to quit on everything.
People who don't suffer from MH just don't understand what it's like and that is lonely. I hate it when they say just get over and move on. Something my exh used to say to me all the time. Along with why should I be affected by it I didn't go through it so why should I put up with it and I deserve happiness.
I am so relieved to hear you feeling some peace. That is music to my ears. Kymberly you are such a sweet and gentle person and I am so grateful that you have allowed me to chat with you,

please tell Kimmy I'm very sorry for not answering her question about ice cream that was rude of me. Please tell her that I love ice cream. Ice cream sandwiches are my favourite as well as choc chip. 😘

@Former-Member

Thank you for sharing that song with me. It touched my heart profoundly. I am absolutely moved by it. Such a perfect song to share right now.
@Former-Member

Please listen to that song they had saved to send to you when they thought the time was right @Lee82

I am most sorry to hear that you think that of yourself. Look at what you have been through, look at what you survived does that show weakness? No it most certainly doesn't. I still believe this comes from how you mother raised you my love. But that's just my opinion and not to mention that so and so of an exh. I hope in time you can see the truth and see what we see in you.

Kimmy will be happy. I was going to ask if there was a reason why you hadn't as you are great with the others. I was worried that maybe inner child hit to many buttons for you. Having DID such a curse sometimes. You have no idea what it like to be out and next minute your eating an ice cream like a 5 yr, so it's all over your face and clothes.

How are feeling both physically and emotionally lovely lady?

@Lee82

I'm so sorry Kimmy. I didn't mean to dismiss you. I was just not thinking straight last night. As you know it was a rough night. I hope you can forgive me sweetie. 💗

I have been beaten down so much it's hard not to think badly about yourself. Negative thoughts haunt me all the time and I find it extremely hard to replace them with positive ones. Yes I get beat down and I get back up but only because I have 2 boys that rely on me.
sometimes acting like a 5 year old is what we need to remind us of the good and innocence in the world. It helps us stay young at heart. And remind us if how fun the simple things in life can be like skipping.,,However I understand it might be a little tricky when your out. I am in ore of how well you all conduct yourself and cope together. How you all look after on another. It is truly amazing.
I believe I asked you how you were feeling first? 😉
@Former-Member

Don't forget my love, that while it wouldn't be healthy to reply on each you have us to keep going for as well. It's amazing what having a friend that understands you can do for your mood and your outlook on life.

that is a struggle that unfortunately we completely understand as well. It is one of the many uphill battles we fight with Nat. Even though we know that D3 was eventually going to move out as most adult children do she automatically covert that into what a horrible mother she has been and ran through every mistake she has ever made and fear kicked that D2 might go to because that was their plan for a long time. I don't know weather you saw the message to you that said she had failed them or not but maybe we can talk that through, but later today not now.

Kimmy will just be happy you like ice cream, mind I think she will be wanting an ice cream cookie as we have never had one.

My sweetest Lee, I am doing very well. Talking with you night has given me something else to focus on and that helps. Being alone and locked inside your own mind is so hard so thank you for supporting us tonight you have made a world of difference. @Lee82 Now my love your turn