rough time

Gee, kids mature so quickly these days dont they? @outlander @Snowie

When I was at school, PD talks didnt start until high school, like year 7, when kids are typically 11/12 yo.

I didnt have my first period until I was in year 11, as a 15yo. Slow maturer 👍 I guess. I was always a skinny kid, so I suppose that didnt help. But 9 or 10 is so young! I would expect that schools should be up with the earlier maturing kids these days, and thus be bringing in PD classes in from around year 4 in that case. Better nutrition has a lot to answer for I reckon 😵 I'm not sure I would have coped with any of that as a 10 year old. Especially since I was in so much pain every damn month.

Only suggestion I have then @outlander is to have a bit of a look online and see if you can find what you consider to be a suitable utube video which goes into all that. You could suggest that she is growing up so fast and that you want her to be aware of likely changes about to happen. Tell her, if you like, that you were not prepared for any of this at her age, and that you want her to be more informed than you were. And also her older sister. Ask her to sit down and watch the video. And tell her she is welcome to ask you questions afterwards if she has any. I am sure there would be something suitable on the net. I know there are also many websites for parents about how to talk to their daughters about puberty and menstruation. Do you think a utube would be a viable option?

@outlanderAbout your sister growing up. The suggestions on here have been great. She is young, but the different ways between the sexes a little obvious, even if all the reasons are not. I think you are right just have a mention, even keep ot vague, when you feel the moment is right. It is certainly not your responsibility.

Tbh I think many parents have issues discussing it.

I am sorry your gp has lost your trust and you have not found anyone better. Sometimes we just have to make the decisions ourselves.

My support worker came today and was telling me all about putting her father in one. He had a bad fall, is over 90 and actually asked for her to find him a place from hospital. I like her, she talks a lot but is genuine and I have learned to ask for more things because of her prompting. SHe is not always right, and I am old enough to make y own decisions, but it helps to have someone. Today. we went out and bought an outdoor setting for me. We put it half together and found one of the threads and nuts was not fitting so had to return table. SHe stayed the full course with me. If I was on my own I would have struggled with going back and put up with the faulty screw and stressed a lot.

It is so personal and depends on the individuals, you and your pop. Have you seen any aged care places? They get bad press in the media with the Royal Commission, but they vary a lot. I saw them as i was accompanying a choir in concerts.

I am getting used to being in the house differently and being alone and asking myself what I want to do. Feels weird, but is good for me ...

If you do not think the main professionals are a good fit for you, it makes sense asking about things online. Its not always easy to know when to change, or how much to put up with. When I was your age I completely trusted doctors and put them on a pedestal, but there was no internet or other ways to check up on things. .. a different world.

Sorry rambling on.

Hugs

Apple

@outlander you wrote "...I'll have to say something about it..." - no you don't. Whether your mother chooses to talk to your sister or not it is not your responsibility to do that for her. You can choose to insert yourself into that motherly role but it is not your responsibility. Maybe this is part of what your pdoc was talking about - you take on responsibilities that are not yours and in doing so consistently let your mother off the hook of her responsibilities. There is a contradiction between your actions and words - you are often annoyed at your mother's lack of parenting and/or lack of responsibility when it comes to your sisters but your continued bailing out for her is actually enabling her behaviour - and this consequently affects your mental health. Sometimes the really hard decisions have to be made for your own benefit. Your sister is learning to drive and is working yet the responsibility still lays at your feet - if she is able to do those things (and treat you as a taxi and driving instructor) then she is also capable of looking after your younger sister on occasions. Again this is not your responsibility to care for either the older or younger of your siblings. It seems to me (and has done for a long time from what you have said) that your sisters are very much being sheltered from the realities of life, learning to hear No and being able to accept that the world (and you) does not revolve around them ...this is also a lesson your mother needs to learn. To be very blunt - you thrive in the need to feel needed - which is what most people in life would like - but this is also what is contributing to your continued deterioration in your mental health. The choices you make and the road you go down has to be up to you and the continued 'using' of you by your mother is ultimately your choice. I do know saying No is easier said than done but until you can learn to do that with your mother and sisters nothing is going to change ...and that change needs to come from you. I know this is very blunt - and has been said before - but you are not your mother's keeper and the kids are not your responsibility. Maybe it is time to ask yourself the question of how long you can continue to be both mother and sister to your sisters (and your mother as well) because while you continue to take on both responsibilities you will not have a chance of any life of your own. You need to decide for yourself if what you presently have in your life is all that it can be or if you can make some changes to be able to find a way forward - that alone is up to you. Ultimately we are the only ones that can make those changes for ourselves but we first have to want to make those changes. I do not say any of this lightly to you and it is done from a position of caring over years now of seeing what you go through - so please take it as a continued concern for your mental health from the position you are in and a concern that throughout that time you have been here on the forum there has been very little change in what your mother expects is a given rather than what you can give or achieve. There is a life out there for you - it is up to you to find it and grab it with both hands when you do - but making those tough decisions need to be made first.

@outlander

@outlander 💜💜💜

@outlanderno words needed.

take care sis, you matter

Hopefully talk again

Wanted you to know I am thinking of you @outlander

Sherry 💕

@Former-Member @outlander