outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Thanks @Former-Member
im kind of having trouble explaining it.
I have been in like a dissociative state all day but its not the usual sort I experience. normally I zone out and don't know ive been dissociating till ive come back to earth or the other sort is having visions when im suicidial and it revolves around ideas.
today though ive been feeling very strange and like im here but im not here. ive also been having visions of bad things happening, I cant be specific but its been people needing some form of help from emergency services. its like I can see the people but they look more like blobs-enough to tell they are people but I cant actually see who they are.
ive been working around kids and horses all day so even in a more suidical state dissociating and visions don't happen when im busy. its been strange and really hard to try and focus on anything at all.
While these have been happening, something inside feels different, theres almost like a yearning or somethings missing. its more then just the usual things I experience as well like normally I miss the friendships or yearn for supportive family but this is different and I don't know what it actually might be. something really deep inside or something.
im kind of having trouble explaining it.
I have been in like a dissociative state all day but its not the usual sort I experience. normally I zone out and don't know ive been dissociating till ive come back to earth or the other sort is having visions when im suicidial and it revolves around ideas.
today though ive been feeling very strange and like im here but im not here. ive also been having visions of bad things happening, I cant be specific but its been people needing some form of help from emergency services. its like I can see the people but they look more like blobs-enough to tell they are people but I cant actually see who they are.
ive been working around kids and horses all day so even in a more suidical state dissociating and visions don't happen when im busy. its been strange and really hard to try and focus on anything at all.
While these have been happening, something inside feels different, theres almost like a yearning or somethings missing. its more then just the usual things I experience as well like normally I miss the friendships or yearn for supportive family but this is different and I don't know what it actually might be. something really deep inside or something.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
thanks @Snowie 👋 ^^^^^^^^
In response to: Re: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
That sound quite scary @outlander
I'm sorry you are going through this. I dissociate too but in different ways.
I don't really have any suggestions but am here listening.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
its strange @Snowie this sort hasn't happened before. im use to the other ones as bad as that sounds.
and the deep emptiness and yearning but not even knowing what that is hasn't really happened before either.
and the deep emptiness and yearning but not even knowing what that is hasn't really happened before either.
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
Gee @outlander ... I honestly dont know! I experience dissociation too, but not quite as you describe here. From what you have said, its also somewhat different to your usual experience too. It sounds distressing though, and it would be good to talk about it to a professional MH person. Meanwhile keep yourself safe and try to direct your mind toward things other than what your mind is telling you. Distract, in other words.
In response to: Re: rough time
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Oooooh @outlander you have so much stress on so many different levels. Your health, pop's health, the horse business is full on and ... you live in areas of high alert and the bushfire emergency is real. When in deep stress we often double think and can over analyse ourselves. There must be a deep exhaustion in you ... your health issues have been varied and going on for a while ... be clear about your limits with the myaged care people and get onto them quick.
Not sure what the others will say ,,, but a big gentle hug from me Bella.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
im safe enough @Former-Member
I don't have a psych anymore, the pdoc appt isn't till march now. I have my nurse but I don't know. the last time I mentioned dissociating it didn't go to well.
I haven't had the visions like ive been having today before. ive not had people shaped blobs and watching things happen but not knowing who it is-prob a good thing in a way I suppose. not all of them are scary- ie one was someone falling off a horse and breaking their arm. obviously not a good thing but it wasn't scary.
I don't have a psych anymore, the pdoc appt isn't till march now. I have my nurse but I don't know. the last time I mentioned dissociating it didn't go to well.
I haven't had the visions like ive been having today before. ive not had people shaped blobs and watching things happen but not knowing who it is-prob a good thing in a way I suppose. not all of them are scary- ie one was someone falling off a horse and breaking their arm. obviously not a good thing but it wasn't scary.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
thanks @Appleblossom
yes I think your right in that there is a deep exhaustion or something...
yes I think your right in that there is a deep exhaustion or something...
In response to: Re: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlanderwhen I dissociate I try and get myself back to the present moment. With using my 5 senses and grounding myself. I know you have probably tried these things already.
I hope they don't stick around, I am glad you are safe tonight.
In response to: Re: rough time
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I believe myagedcare has a bigger responsibility to you, as you are a grandchild carer. @outlander Not that you are lesser, but your real job is getting on with your own life. Society needs to carry more responsibility for pop. Its great he is not that bad ... yes you make lots of good decisions and will struggle on ... that is what family does ... but they need to step up ... its the way society is organised now ... you are entitled to respite.
btw I have found MH professionals not that great to talk about that stuff .. mostly I find literature, art and movies about the topics more helpful, maybe thats just me.
