rough time

@Former-Member I guess your right there, I hate having weigh ins, just makes me feel horrible afterwards esp since I know that the medications and stress arent helping the cause. I did some research that last during the hrs I couldnt sleep and it said for a little while stress could make you loose weight however long term or constant high stress will cause you to gain it even if you eat healthy and exercise which would also explain a lot of why I cant seem to drop anything no matter how healthy I eat or how muhc exercise I am doing. My pms is shocking and have been known to gain over 4kgs in just that time so it depends where I am in my cycle too. It really just drives me crazy esp since the start of last yr I dropped a heap of weight and was where I wanted to be and well I didnt feel better mentally but felt better in self confidence. Im hoping todays an ok for you too, maybe youll see some brumbies again today.

@Former-Membermorning sis, it always seems to be a rough time after appts. I wont be going to see my nurse for another 6 weeks now and hopefully by then ill have dropped another dose of these weight gaining meds and increased the mood stabilisers and the other ones im on. Not sure how that will go mentally but thats the long term goal anyway or to be on the minimum doses I can get to. Still having after effects of yesterday but that is to be expected but its an easy day today so trying to get a few things sorted out that doesnt involve a great deal of anything like working on strategies, getting the general housework done and going for my usual walk, might make it a beach walk today but late in the arvo so I get the sunset. I hope todays a better day for you too.

@Sans911where on earth did you get your brains from? It really has helped put some things into perspective. Love the analogy about dress rehersals, I dont know what made you think of that but it makes sense. I hadnt thought of just taking another track for a while, I dont want to crumble but I can already feel the cracks getting bigger and wider so not sure how long itll last going at this rate.

No not all of my mh states believe I was put here to be a slave but its all ive known too so its hard to imagine anything else and when I think about what it is I want to do I can never answer it because I really dont know. I didnt go through school with dreams of what I wanted to do, I just knew that I wanted to help people and when yr 11 come around I was already a carer for my nan so it was like I didnt really have to think about it.

I have started to say no a little more, its still just as hard but ive been trying to. Like with the horse job I am determined to not have any more days on than those 3 days im am there. When I know mums off work as well I make sure that she picks up the kids- yesterday she was headed for me to pick up the kids in a msg and her excuse was that she was waiting on the washing machine to finish- so said no- I wasnt home anayway I was in my driving stage. I didnt feel guilty about that one. Had she of said I am the drs and the are running late then it wouldve been another story.

Yes being 'lost' is uncomfortable and yes distressing at times esp when you can see changes happening or dont know how to make those changes and feel stuck.

I didnt know that about you, no except that youve had mh issues most of your life. The way your describing things sounds like the way my brain runs

“i had major issues with self esteem and confidence, I dealt poorly with conflict and often felt suicidal when things went pear shaped”- that is my issue/s (or some of them)

thank you for helping me, i know its probably not easy for you to be having this conversation either, so i am both thankful and sorry. it is helping me though, you have the cogs turning- but construsctively

also you meantioned you wanted to study- im curious to know what it is that you would like to study one day?

just a quick question for you all..... if when looking for a psychologist, something doesnt sit right with you that often means to leave them and move to the next person doesnt it?

I think so Claire @outlander, if you have the selection to do so. The more rural you get the shorter the list, I know that from personal experience 😉 But if you have another psychologist you can talk to, I'd say talk to them & see how it feels

{fingers are starting to press the wrong keys & it's very annoying! X/}

Love to you Claire

Niqua

[P.S. I'm going to try & get off early today & tackle some housework :)]

i really wanted to see the psych i cant see @Former-Member in a way its good that i didnt continue with her a few months ago otherwise i would still be in this situation for another yr. ive got a few options to have a look at, i also look at accessibility. there is one i looked at but it takes me and hrs drive and parking is a half an hr walk away and thats if im lucky enough to get into that paid parking spot if not im parking only god knows where so that is really inconvenient.

theres one local near me and easy to access but i kinda feel weird about her, i cant quite put my finger on it though. so im still looking, i tried the same clinic as the psych i wanted to see but one of them only does cbt, and the other 2 are males and im not comfortable talking to them.