rough time

I woke up to a reply I had typed up to you but fallen asleep before I pressed Post on it @outlander .....

No, mr. wouldn’t concede to plastic spoons. He wants the “real deal” metal ones, and having a phobia about germs means that everything has to go through the intense heat of the dishwasher too .....

He also expects us to support (tolerate) whatever he feels he needs to do in his daily regimen. Part of our move here in the east is to have a living space that is better suited to what he is doing, and gives the rest of us more space from being woken up all through the night, or getting in the way of how his day is organised (by trying to have a life of our own ?!). He has a monopoly on the kitchen and laundry appliances / space, and then because nothing is working in terms of systems (his prevents mine from working) he thinks we need cleaners to fix it because everybody is being lazy (meaning: not running at 100km to try to keep things in order as chaos is created across the day, every day).

I can’t fix this ..... we just have to live with it for now until either his illness is discovered, or the kids leave home (except D2), so the new living space will 🤞 make things easier to cope with.

Thanks @outlander

The new living space will provide some give, although it’s not a certainty that we will get it yet, and then there are doorways needing to be cut through walls to join one small unit with another .... have to see how it goes. I hope we do get it for all the chaos caused by home opens and new junk boxes to sort. .....gahhhh !! .... as if we didn’t have enough of those already !!!!!!!!

Anyway, yes, I did sleep through most of the racket last night, but I really feel for D2 with bright lights happening in her sleeping space through the night.

S2 has fully moved into the art space now, which is restricting for me, but a huge 🎉 for him, despite daily visits and food delivery from mr. somewhat hampering his independence. At least he hasn’t got electronic surveillance in the middle of that space (security phobia in mr.) that we have here in the main living space.

That’s important for his recovery, and if D3 will go back to psych appointments it might help support her to do the same. There is another room in the art space that she could move to, but S2 needs to be well enough, and D3 respective of his space enough, for that to work.

It has to come from them though, because mr. is triggered any time I speak up for change, and it takes a while to settle everything and everyone back down again in the wake of one of those events ......

@Zoe7

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

It all sounds very unsettling and hard on you and your children - you have the patience of a saint - you need it - I wonder about it because although people have said I am a patient person - when I did private tutoring my students told me I was patient - I don't think I would be too patient with so many changes though - and you yourself can't say anything about the chaos -

I commend you - really - I do

I didn't realise until recently that you had surveillance cameras for Mr's seurity in all of this - and from what you say I can't imagine the layout - but you are supporting your kids the best you can and with three of them is special needs of different kinds it's a marvel

Again - I wish you the best - sending some pink flowers if I can find some right now

Dec

Pink flowers always remind me of you when I see them growing - I thought pink hearts might help but these are red - sending red hearts today

Hi @outlander

I hope things are going as well as possible for you right now

Dec

This is my owl-profile for today - thoughtful and considering my options

I really like this owl for today - I had such a bad week last week it has left me tired from the stress I had - I have sorted out my plans for the future - after I have been away I am going to look for a different pain specialist - just to get other opinions - with my GPs referals - and have another MRI to support me - also to see another psychologist to get a letter to say that the traumatic year I had when my son died doesn't contribute to my back pain -

Having sorted that out I feel tired but much better - it's a big step but my GP is right behind me - he thinks it's a good idea to move on

I hope you are feeling okay - I know you deal with things in your life I have not had in mine - eg - caring for your Pop - I have not had to care for anyone - my mother cared for her mother and my sister cared for our mother - I was pretty much shut out of caring for my parents as they aged but my father wanted me present in his life as he got frail - which is a good thing

I like that phrase - "they also serve who only stand and wait'' - it was difficult when my mother didn't want any part of me and my sister took over - however I never had the responsibility

I don't know if you have had your operation yet - sometimes I read my phone when I am waiting somewhere and I don't have my computer with me but I never read everything so I miss a lot - and this week I haven't spent much time on-line - I think my computer needed to reboot and did that last night - of it's own accord

It's working better today - I am so glad for that - I like taking it with me when I go away - they havef wifi at most airports now - it's so good chatting when I am waiting

All the best Outlander

Dec

Hi @MDT

Dec