outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
FORUMS
Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
- 47,612Members
- 1,358,869Posts
- 1,400,000Visitors
rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander - hun, tears are a release of all the stress you've gone through. But you've shown remarkable resilience, strength and insight lately. I'm really proud of you for being assertive with your boss. And going back to work will hopefully make you feel better and more productive.
I worry a lot about my lil Sis and all the stuff you are trying to deal with. I wouldn't be surprised though, if you had a breakdown. Obviously I don't want that to happen to you, but our bodies and minds can only take so much before we crack. So it's a forced handbrake on stopping further trauma. I really believe you need to get on top of those past traumas that are preventing you from sleeping. Sleep deprivation is just adding an extra layer of stress on you. And it won't be helping your physical ailments. Under stress our bodies produce huge levels of chemicals and hormones which can end up becoming a little toxic and impact on the immune system.
I so wish you had more support, both psychologically and practically. I would come and help you in a heartbeat if I could
I worry a lot about my lil Sis and all the stuff you are trying to deal with. I wouldn't be surprised though, if you had a breakdown. Obviously I don't want that to happen to you, but our bodies and minds can only take so much before we crack. So it's a forced handbrake on stopping further trauma. I really believe you need to get on top of those past traumas that are preventing you from sleeping. Sleep deprivation is just adding an extra layer of stress on you. And it won't be helping your physical ailments. Under stress our bodies produce huge levels of chemicals and hormones which can end up becoming a little toxic and impact on the immune system.
I so wish you had more support, both psychologically and practically. I would come and help you in a heartbeat if I could
In response to: rough time
MDTSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
i haven't got much to say @outlander
just know that I am with you as well
you are a tough nut my friend and you shall get through it. You are an inspiration. Even if you are in a spot of trouble atm. You deserve to be happy and I think you will get there. One day.
For now, focus on what you gotta do.
I don't really know what else to say at this point. Sorry 😕
just know that I am with you as well
you are a tough nut my friend and you shall get through it. You are an inspiration. Even if you are in a spot of trouble atm. You deserve to be happy and I think you will get there. One day.
For now, focus on what you gotta do.
I don't really know what else to say at this point. Sorry 😕
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
I dont want to cry anymore @Sans911 i know its a release but i dont enjoy it. It just sucks more energy out of me.
I hope going back was the right choice. a few hrs 3 days a week without the added worries of clients and being on call might be good. In a few months it will be a yr since my first and big breakdown. I dont want it to happen either but at this rate who knows what will happen. If i go in it puts to much pressure on everyone else.
I did abit of trauma work last year but sent me off the railings so stopped. The therapist ill be seeing said an end goal will be the prolonged exposure therapy. I like her so want to go back but i worry dealing with it will make things worse and i will have a breakdown. I feel stuck and dont know which way to go. I know i need to but dont know when.. i seem to be always sick with something so id say those toxins are already building up.
I know you dont think it but you and my forum family really do mean alot. I feel like ive known you forever yet we haven't met. I worry about you too my big sis. Your always in my thoughts and if i could id come help you too.
I hope going back was the right choice. a few hrs 3 days a week without the added worries of clients and being on call might be good. In a few months it will be a yr since my first and big breakdown. I dont want it to happen either but at this rate who knows what will happen. If i go in it puts to much pressure on everyone else.
I did abit of trauma work last year but sent me off the railings so stopped. The therapist ill be seeing said an end goal will be the prolonged exposure therapy. I like her so want to go back but i worry dealing with it will make things worse and i will have a breakdown. I feel stuck and dont know which way to go. I know i need to but dont know when.. i seem to be always sick with something so id say those toxins are already building up.
I know you dont think it but you and my forum family really do mean alot. I feel like ive known you forever yet we haven't met. I worry about you too my big sis. Your always in my thoughts and if i could id come help you too.
In response to: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander - I know I mean a lot to you lil Sis. You're one of the few people I connected with apart from @Former-Member in the beginning.
If you were to have a breakdown, then there is nothing to do but take care of yourself. And if that puts added pressure on others, so be it. You can't be responsible for everyone else outlander. And you can't be there for everyone else all the time even if you were fit and well. Everyone has to take breaks every now and then. You do so, so much for others. But can you answer this? What does it do for you? What do you get out of it? Sure, some of might be rewarding but I also know sometimes the things you do for others is stressful, challenging and a burden. When does Outlander get rewarded, and how?
I know you're scared about dealing with your trauma, but if you don't deal with it now, do you really want to live with it any longer? Trust me, it never really goes away, and interferes with your life on so many levels. I've had MI for most of my life including several SA in my teens. I never had the opportunity for therapy nor did I seek it. I just tried to bury everything and get on with my life. I did kinda ok, but I've struggled on many levels, particularly with conflict, interpersonal relationships and self confidence. What I'm dealing with now is huge, and will take some time to unpack and deal with. And I'm terrified too what impact it will have on me. But I can't continue the way I was/am. So I just have to take a deep breath and do this now. And trust in the process and supports to get me through.
If you were to have a breakdown, then there is nothing to do but take care of yourself. And if that puts added pressure on others, so be it. You can't be responsible for everyone else outlander. And you can't be there for everyone else all the time even if you were fit and well. Everyone has to take breaks every now and then. You do so, so much for others. But can you answer this? What does it do for you? What do you get out of it? Sure, some of might be rewarding but I also know sometimes the things you do for others is stressful, challenging and a burden. When does Outlander get rewarded, and how?
I know you're scared about dealing with your trauma, but if you don't deal with it now, do you really want to live with it any longer? Trust me, it never really goes away, and interferes with your life on so many levels. I've had MI for most of my life including several SA in my teens. I never had the opportunity for therapy nor did I seek it. I just tried to bury everything and get on with my life. I did kinda ok, but I've struggled on many levels, particularly with conflict, interpersonal relationships and self confidence. What I'm dealing with now is huge, and will take some time to unpack and deal with. And I'm terrified too what impact it will have on me. But I can't continue the way I was/am. So I just have to take a deep breath and do this now. And trust in the process and supports to get me through.
In response to: rough time
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member
Logging out for the night. I hope you get some sleep or rest tonight and I will catch up with you tomorrow.
Goodnight all 😴😴🎶🎶🎶💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
Logging out for the night. I hope you get some sleep or rest tonight and I will catch up with you tomorrow.
Goodnight all 😴😴🎶🎶🎶💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞
In response to: Re: rough time
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Goodnight @Sans911 @Former-Member @outlander @Former-Member .... have been staying up here while S2 sorts a submission item that was required with his application to uni .... 11th hour thing (just for a change :face_with_rolling_eyes:) but it’s done now so I’m heading off too.
😴💕
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
Goodnight @Faith-and-Hope, hope you get some sleep.
@outlandernot sure if you have logged off so will say goodnight to you too. I think tonight I need to stay connected somewhere so this will be the place tonight. Hugs sis 
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
@outlander, glad you got your job back,even if you had said "no",it shows that you have been missed for your attributes and through the clients contacting you also reflects your abilities.Just try and not let any idiot there get to you for the time you are there ,as they aren't worth it ,you know that.
Unfortunate with the saddle incident.💕
@Faith-and-Hope I did go for a walk,shouldn't had got the shakes as I don't think I have been drinking water enough past two days ,only did 5kms and I was tired by the time I got there from housecleaning someone's house this morning and coming home to get this one done and mowing. What for I question,my mother was back late from visiting in preparation for my niece's wedding today and we had words.So wish I wasn't in a life that made me feel no self worth and no control.:bomb:
@Sans911, @Former-Member,hope you do get some sleep.💌
In response to: Re: rough time
Unknown userMember
Re: rough time
@Well said @Sans911 in relation to stress and hormones,described me to a T, hormone cortisol is a big problem.
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Good morning everyone
Thank you for your msgs. Not quite up for responding yet but wanted to say good morning and thank you ❤
I hope you all managed some sleep and today is ok for you
Thank you for your msgs. Not quite up for responding yet but wanted to say good morning and thank you ❤
I hope you all managed some sleep and today is ok for you
