outlanderSenior Contributor
rough time
is anyone around to talk to atm
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rough time
20097 replies
In response to: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
thank you @Snowie xo
thank you @Zoe7 its really difficult i thought maybe having the volunteer stuff would be an added thing- like a feel good/ your doing something helpful thing would of helped abit too but hasnt unless im actually doing the volunteering.
how did you learn to rest and be ok with it? how did you slow down abit? i find even just sitting im constantly fidgeting thinking i should be doing something unless im really tired (but even that takes a few nights of unusually crappy sleep and some big days to do) or im in the really low/i dont care sort of mood i just cant seem to be resting, drives me crazy sometimes.
ive got a few things in my coping box like colouring in, and some paints and things that i can do to relax and try to enjoy but then when i pull them out i loose the motivation to do them. Same as reading books and tv shows that i like such as bbt and friends.
thank you @Zoe7 its really difficult i thought maybe having the volunteer stuff would be an added thing- like a feel good/ your doing something helpful thing would of helped abit too but hasnt unless im actually doing the volunteering.
how did you learn to rest and be ok with it? how did you slow down abit? i find even just sitting im constantly fidgeting thinking i should be doing something unless im really tired (but even that takes a few nights of unusually crappy sleep and some big days to do) or im in the really low/i dont care sort of mood i just cant seem to be resting, drives me crazy sometimes.
ive got a few things in my coping box like colouring in, and some paints and things that i can do to relax and try to enjoy but then when i pull them out i loose the motivation to do them. Same as reading books and tv shows that i like such as bbt and friends.
In response to: Re: rough time
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
That is why I like bubbles so much @outlander It is much simpler than getting motivated to draw, pain, colour or watch something. Learning to breathe and centre yourself comes with a lot of practice - but it is not something that I can do as successfully when I am super heightened - to smaller degrees but then it really is time for let the feelings pass at their highest and then do the breathing. I also have Toby and cuddling him is a super important calming 'tool'.
Physical exertion of energy is good to get out of that constant arousal you seem to be in. Even 5 minutes on the exercise bike or on a punching bag could help - do you have either of them? You might need to do that several times an hour until you feel calmer - once the adrenalin built up dissipates you can then do the controlled breathing. I know you have done some of that before with @Sans911
Getting up at the same time, going to bed at the same time and getting in a routine can help as well - we have talked about this before - it allows you to know what you are doing at a given time and by sticking to a routine/plan you become more able to rest in the times you have off.
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
bubbles do seem like a good idea @Zoe7 i might buy some and put them aside so ive got them on hand
ive got my exercise bike that i use which i tend to do short spurts but im riding for around 20-30 minutes each time im on it and then ive got my other part to the exerise routine which is also abit of the cardio stuff that i use too. i hadnt really thought to practice breathing afterwards though since i try to control breathing during the cardio stuff too.
I can try that though, anythings worth a go!
ive actually been getting into a sleeping routine even if im not sleeping. i know i wont sleep before 12 so ive made it 12-7am but if i go to bed beforehand then i dont fight it and then up at 7am. during that time even if im awake i still have electronics and things off. sometimes i read abit if i really cant sleep. routines in the days are abit harder but if i know i have something on like appointments i can plan the day like that. sometimes its abit non specific like-do the horses in the morning but not a set time.
sometimes i wish i could have a pet that i could have indoors like a cat too for when the times are quiet and i can pat the cat while just chilling on the lounge
ive got my exercise bike that i use which i tend to do short spurts but im riding for around 20-30 minutes each time im on it and then ive got my other part to the exerise routine which is also abit of the cardio stuff that i use too. i hadnt really thought to practice breathing afterwards though since i try to control breathing during the cardio stuff too.
I can try that though, anythings worth a go!
ive actually been getting into a sleeping routine even if im not sleeping. i know i wont sleep before 12 so ive made it 12-7am but if i go to bed beforehand then i dont fight it and then up at 7am. during that time even if im awake i still have electronics and things off. sometimes i read abit if i really cant sleep. routines in the days are abit harder but if i know i have something on like appointments i can plan the day like that. sometimes its abit non specific like-do the horses in the morning but not a set time.
sometimes i wish i could have a pet that i could have indoors like a cat too for when the times are quiet and i can pat the cat while just chilling on the lounge
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
i dont really understand how im doing all these things but it still doesnt seem enough or hmmm fullfilling or enjoyable.
In response to: rough time
SnowieSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlanderI agree with what @Zoe7 has said.
Sometimes it is very hard to sit with ourselves. If we stop doing things then I find that is the time my mind wanders the most too. Motivation is hard to find especially if we are struggling.
In response to: Re: rough time
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
Hi @outlander Its great you are developing a sleep hygeine approach that is starting to work for you.
Those screens over stimulate the eyes so its great you have limited them, but they say its no good to lie and endlessly toss and turn, so a book or music can be calming too.
@Zoe7 Know what you mean about having a cat. Mine has just jumped up on couch wih me.
Hugs Ladies.
In response to: Re: rough time
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
If you get into a routine when you do the horses as well then you will know you are doing that at a specific time on a given day and then you can do other things afterwards @outlander If you say to yourself 'I will do it when I feel like it' then that is not motivating you to stick to a routine. Just like work for me - I know what time I need to be there and I can't do anything else (especially when I want to sit down and do nothing because I am feeling flat) apart from get to work at the time I need to be there. I have a routine when I come home too - and part of that is forum use. I put away the things I need to put away - then forum time, feed babies, get dinner ....all at the same time of the day. It helps me to segent things and that way I can 'be in the moment' with the thing I am doing.
In response to: Re: rough time
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: rough time
@Snowie @Appleblossom Hugs to both of you
In response to: Re: rough time
outlanderSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
thank you, that is the same for me too @Snowie if im not occupied my mind wanders. the constant need to be doing something gets abit overwhelming in itself though, sometimes the lack of motivations works to my advantage.
thank you, @Appleblossom unfortunatly even medications dont help with my sleep so alot of the time in bed i am tossing and turning all the time. by the time 12 comes around though i seem to be able to settle abit more so i turn things off then but i dont turn them back on if i get fidgety, i bring out a book and that helps sometimes.
thank you @Zoe7 ill try to keep a better routine in the daytime too. school holidays are almost over here so thatll make it easier as well. i had things planned for tomorrow however my mothers just msged and had put the kids onto me basically all day so some of it i wont be doing tomorrow but ill try to keep the things i can in the same times to start that routine up like the horses in the morning and a trip to the shops after that. it frustrates me when she does that, shes known about this since she made the appointment thing shes going to but waits till now to tell me.
thank you, @Appleblossom unfortunatly even medications dont help with my sleep so alot of the time in bed i am tossing and turning all the time. by the time 12 comes around though i seem to be able to settle abit more so i turn things off then but i dont turn them back on if i get fidgety, i bring out a book and that helps sometimes.
thank you @Zoe7 ill try to keep a better routine in the daytime too. school holidays are almost over here so thatll make it easier as well. i had things planned for tomorrow however my mothers just msged and had put the kids onto me basically all day so some of it i wont be doing tomorrow but ill try to keep the things i can in the same times to start that routine up like the horses in the morning and a trip to the shops after that. it frustrates me when she does that, shes known about this since she made the appointment thing shes going to but waits till now to tell me.
In response to: Re: rough time
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: rough time
@outlander I just read about a
Beditation
Which is doing an extended body scan, meditating and if you fall asleep, thats just fine and part of it. Worst Case Scenario you are gently eturning to relaxing and mindfuo body scans
Not sure if that would help
