rough time

You need to work towards a position where you can say no to your mother @outlander Your sister is getting older and surely she can look after the younger one at home - this is not your job Hon and I am afraid the more your mother relies on you for these things the more she will use you to do more - that is no way to be living your life. The kids are not your responsibility and if your mother can.t organise for them to be cared for earlier then she is the one that needs to change her appointment - and not you change your plans. There will be no doubt anger from her but that is her problem to deal with too - you should not be treated this way but it is up to you to stick up for yourself - hold that line and set some boundaries with your mother.

@outlander Sounds possible. I am very vague about all the different types of relaxation and meditation. Most important is to do what sits well with you.

I understand that guilt and not wanting your sisters to have the same roles as you have had but you are also not doing yourself any favours. The only way to take control of your life is to learn to let go of those roles you are expected to have. That will take some working through but ultimately you are the only one that can change that. I hope the psychologist can help you let soe of that go because from where I sit @outlander it is holding you back more than anything else.

i know i have to be the one to 'let go' abit too which i know alot of the overprotectiveness stuff comes from the traumas ive had.
i have alot of fear in working through this suff too, i think its mostly because ive been so ingrained and doing these caring roles (even if its not my responsibility) that im abit scared of what else is out there and the 'who am i without doing these thing' that feels kinda scary to me too. @Zoe7

Yep totally get that @outlander Your identity at present revolves around these roles and you don't know anything different. So much of what is ingrained in you has been forced on you by circumstances and you find you don't have choices that you can make for yourself. Those things you can re-learn but it takes a giant leap of faith - and most likely a lot of heartache a long the way - to re-define who you are. Despite you having all these roles and things that have been traumatic in your life you have missed out on some of the basic human needs that you develop in your childhood and teenage years - that is developing a social circle that you can do 'normal' things with. ...and by normal I mean going out with friends that doesn't include any family, being able to study what you want to do without having to work around other people, just getting out with friends o chat and do absolutely nothing even. Your carer roles have stopped that happening because you have had so many other responsibilities. None of that is fair @outlander and I know it is easy to say you are the only one that can change that but if you do not know how to do that because you have never learnt then you need help - I so hope your psych can help with all that for you so you can have a more fulfilled life.