rough time

I'm not all that special either @outlander - I've just lived longer and the chance to get to "read" people better - give yourself time

When I told my story to my therapist she agreed with me that it was over-whelming and somehow I have not only survived it I have come out of it better than most people would - now why? This is the main question

I remember seeing my mother as a very small person - I was only a little child myself but she was a small woman and Dad and his brothers and my grandparents were and are tall - as I am and my siblings

Perhaps it was because she was small that I never let her quench the spirit within me

I wish I could send you some of the spirit that grows in me and can be given away because the more I use it the better it gets - but I can tell you - once you find it and start using it you will find the light that never goes out

Life is still hard - yes it is - but it's worth living - I am busy living it and this very hot evening I have been outside clearing some of the plants that are out of control in my garden - it looks better but everything has been growing while I watch - it's the start I made a while back -

Caring heaps

Dec

i dont know what else to do. honestly i want to run and never be seen again. starting to think thats the best option atm, run and never return.

@Sans911its on fb, she started talking to me in a msg then deleted off a group i was on, blocked by her and every other person i associated with on that site. shes gone and theres no reasoning. thats just how it goes though doesnt it. really fair.

@Former-Memberit never ends. family, people at the paddock, heck people on fb, it never ends and i want to escape it all. i dont want to deal with it anymore.

It can be so hard @outlander, when we are psychically ill to deal with conflict or problems in our personal life on top! It may help if you can move away abit from that issue that is really upsetting you to distress giving your body a chance to strengthen and heal. If you can't physically remove yourself (if it's in your face regularly), maybe trying to distance yourself emotionally from it and block it out? This is what I have had to do in the past to survive and it helped.

The stomach pain does sound like an ulcer or digestive problem. I had two friends who had similar problems - they eat healthy etc. In one of my friends case it was alcohol causing it - the other it seems to be stress as no test showed anything. She had been under a lot. Excessive stress is a terrible thing.

It's hard to know for sure as many things cou,d be causing it, and only after having tests unfortunately will you know for sure. I can understand you being sick of them - my husband gets like that. I rarely see the doctor - I don't know how I have lasted so well that way given all the stress I have been under! I have never had surgery. My mother is 82 and is the same. But my husband on the other hand has had about 20 surgeries poor bugger. I do feel a bit quesy after eating take away sometimes, and particularly after drinking coke - too much caffeine can make me feel sick so I avoid it and fatty foods now.

And you won't believe this, eating chocolate cause major depression in me. I have taken it out of my diet and felt okay. Every time I eat it the next day my mood plummets seriously low. I have tried this many times with the same result so I avoid chocolate too. Can't explain why it does it to me but it definitely does.

I may listen to some of my favourite music to relax this evening. What type of music do you enjoy @outlander?

Goodnight @Former-Member

Hugs @outlander

@outlander,don't know if I'm much help because I closed the door on life and can't go into a shopping this pathetic town or if I am shopping and see someone who traumatized me in any way I either want to run or have to get away from the b****** for my own sake.

@outlander,telling you what I told @Sans911 focus on yourself,if the respect isn't there for you,they definitely aren't "friends".That's what do hate about FB.I don't have a account,got no friends anyway and like my privacy. I follow on my mother's name,business posts,news,that's it. It's dangerous if used wrong,like when I googled my name last year and my sister and nieces conversation on Facebook came up about me.Still pi**** off with them ,and never will forgive them ,it was there for at least 18 months before I seen it and was a private matter.They mentioned my first name,Google worked out the rest,that is scary.Everything is so public,I can't take that,as well as relatives with endless selfies making themselves out to be perfect,people posting on bullying ,SC, etc when you know they are a gossip etc.

Just try and get rest @outlander,we know the wrong people,that's the problem,not you.