THE dark side

Have you heard of something called “tunnel vision” @Bubbles3 ?

Its when the negative things in your life seem to be the only things you can see .....

That’s not to say that the negative things aren’t there, because they are .... and you know what they are .... it’s just that they become your entire focus and you can’t see the good and right things that are also there. It’s these things that give us a more balanced perspective, and that helps to keep us steadier.

The way to help counter tunnel vision is to literally turn around and focus on the positives ... the things that are right, special, working .... the things that bring us even momentary flashes of joy .....

The old fashioned way of saying that is “count your blessings ....”

You don’t have to actually count them, and they don’t mean that we don’t experience the sadness of the things that are painful and not right .... it just means that we don’t put everything down .... we keep a little balance in there.

If you start with your husband and kids, Gizmo and the birds, the fact that you have a home, hubby has work, the kids are healthy (hubby too ?). You’re an artist and you have created beautiful images. You write poetry and it comes easily to you. You like fishing. You had a Mum to call on who could clean the bathroom. You had a brother you could call on to mow the lawns. You have a lawyer to represent you with the court stuff .....

it’s not everything, but there is some good / helpful / right / special stuff in there too Hon.

@Faith-and-Hope i know i should be looking at thing that way but my head wont let me. Its hard to explain. I know what you mean though🤓😔😕😭

Can you please send me one @Bubbles3- that way I'll ahve corretc email. Thank you 🙂

And we all do it @Bubbles3 ..... when we realise that’s what is happening is when we have to try to find the positives, and it can be really hard to do.

Practicing when we are not in such a dark state of mind can help I think. Your therapist is the one to ask .....

I already have @Former-Member let me if you have it

That's a ll a bit odd @Bubbles3- I have used that email address and sent through 2 emails this evening. Never mind I'm sure they'll find you at some point.

I'm around for a little while now...... How are you things at your end now? How did dinner go? Hope you managed to get some too 🙂

@Former-Member ill send one more emails

Im not eating tonight

Still nothing, who knows whats happening with that this evening. It's ok, you can chat with moderators here you just need to rememebr to be mindful that it's within the forum and not an email. A new evening moderator is coming on now and remember you can @ mention memebers to interact with them.

I'm not too sure what's happened for you today @Bubbles3 but needless to say it seems like its been a big day. Try and be kind to yourself. How about a relaxing shower, a little bit of food- even if it's only a few mouthfuls and watching something on the tv before going to sleep. HC will be open again tomorrow and you can contact then if you are seeking 1:1 support. You've got this @Bubbles3- easy does it. Be kind to yourself.

Kindest,

Pebbles 🙂