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Bubbles3Senior Contributor
I was just wonder if there is anybody else who is suffering with mental illness but worried about the partners mental health state to.
He hubby has hit rock bottom because of me
I dont know how to make thing better for the both of us.
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Cracked73Contributor
Dear @Bubbles3,
Your efforts in keeping it all together are amazing and yet too much. I am so sorry that you have to swim against the current in your own home. Please, do not stop in your efforts to get better.
I am ashamed for your husbands threatening behaviour towards your situation as well as his lack of empathy. I do however believe he has come to a point in his life where he needs the help of a psychologist. In my humble opinion, him having a friend over is an attempt to recover the life he desires. Even for only a short time. Call it a refuge from reality. The moment the door closes, reality will come straight back and as you mentioned, his mood will turn hostile against you. I think, the threatening is the inner turmoil and despair coming out. He has no idea how to deal with your situation and he is out of his league. This feeling of not being in control is a severe blow to his personality and if he values everything he worked for; his marriage, his children, his house, boat, job, whatever drives him,he will have to get help from a trained professional and not from a mates-night-out.
You are improving, awesome, but....... he is not improving.He has no understanding of PTSD and therefore no reference point to relate back to, how can he really see you are improving? You know your improvements because you are the one suffering from PTSD and experienced it at its worst.
Picking up on improvements in my wife were and are still little baby steps for me. I am a dumb, stupid and emotionally blind man when it comes to helping my wife getting better.
I so hope you don't burn out in your efforts to do it all perfect for him and neglect yourself along the way. That worries me.
Therefore I wish you a magic wand to do your bidding 🙂
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Cracked73Contributor
Dear @Bubbles3,
I admire your will to make your marriage a happy one by sacrificing yourself for it.
Please forgive my sarcasm in the last sentence, but are you really willing to sarifice yourself to the point of complete annihilation, for the sake of pretending a happy life?
I fully understand what you are doing ( I felt the same for years ), but any mental disorder does not play by the rules we would like to create to lead a normal life again. You admitted it yourself, you pretended to be his happy wife, but inside you still struggle, fight the same issues and feel alone, lost and eventually without hope. I do not wish that for you.
It will only be a matter of time before the facade of your deception begins to crack and crumble away - and this time at what cost? What about your kids, they need their whole mum to look after them, be there for them. Mum's are the glue of life, keeping the pieces together that create a solid bond.
Is it fair to the one that really need you as a whole, when you begin to withdraw, have emotional outbursts of anger or rage, depression, apathy?
I implore you, do continue on your road to recovery even if it means to make tough decisions.
I leave you with a quote from a movie: " But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve."
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Cracked73Contributor
Dear @Bubbles3,
I do respect your chosen way and hope it will work for you. Let us know how it goes.
Wishing you lots of miracles in the nick of time.
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Bubbles3Senior Contributor
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
Cracked73Contributor
Dear @Bubbles3,
Sorry to hear your husband is not well. Everyone is reacting differently to the changes in life and I hope your hubby and you can get a conversation going to make it work for the better for both of you.
I suffered from mild depression and SH at one stage.It was my wife that pushed me to see a psychologist. It felt good just to let everything out in a safe environment, neutral.
I talked to my psychologist about things I would not dare talk to my wife. Out of fear I would make things worst in my marriage.
But most of all, something you always have to remember. It is not your fault what has happened to you or what is happening to your husband. It is neither of you at fault ! Life has thrown a really horrible curve ball at you both.
In response to: Re: I have mental health but worried about my husband
DeterminedSenior Contributor
Hi @Bubbles3 quick check in for you before I head off to bed,
Trust things are improving for you and Hubby is feeling a little better also.
Thinking of you tomorrow and trust things go ok for you.
D
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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