Coping with negative/suicidal thoughts.

hi @Former-Member i really hope that has passed now. its sounding really hard for you atm.

it gets really scary when the plans come into place and i have been there before and tried to get the past of point of no return obviously i wasnt successfull. please please reach out for help if you need to. do you have some regular supports in place for yourself? carers aust im sure would be able to help you out too but not entirely sure, youd have to email/ring so they can get the full story. you cant do it all on your own, please get some help and support for yourself too.

Lapses with your little girl i am more than sure you did everything you could have. in those moments you dont think about whats right and whats wrong you think how the hell do i help. that s the same with your dad, you cant tell when thins will happen and again if your around im sure youll do everything you can think of in that moment of distress to help. the good thing about mobile phones is you can put them on loudpeaker so you can talk and do what you need at the same time.

sending lots of hugs @Former-Member

How are you holding up @Former-Member ?

Wow, can't believe its been so long since I felt the need to post on this thread. Sorry @outland er I missed your last post here - cute pic 🙂

I came to say, was just thinking, reflecting on suicidal thoughts associated with selling my home and putting dad in respite (which could 'kiil him' I'm told. Two big losses on the horizon. It makes me concerned if I will cope or crack and give up.

Then, it occurred to me all the many times I was so close and didn't

- 17yo Home attempt, pills, stupid stuff, slept a day but woke up and nobody knew

- 30yrs ago, tired of everything, miscarriage, victim of violence, nobody to talk to. Drove to the highest lookout I knew, but God spoke to me "give me a chance with you"

20yrs ago - all too much - victim of violence, broken engagement, miscarriage... - nobody to talk to - big breakdown - messed things up forever that year - total of 16wks hospitalised and somehow survived. Lost all my friends and my family gave up on me underneath 😞

- 15yrs ago divorce, had two children and couldn't, but the terrible thoughts to erase even my genes from the world. This I told nobody and shocked i'd ever even think it, even if it seems you'd save them from a worse fate. Nobody talks about this.But I pulled out strength I didn't think I had for my kids and we survived

- 07 years ago 😞 my girl suddenly died to asthma, at only 13 😞 Hmm, another 4+2 weeks hospitalised, and yep, I was so alone and in too much pain for so long. If not for the impact on my son... well, you know... Thing is, I survived!

- Now, mum died January, dad 84 has dementia & a medical ticking timebomb - I'm caring for him, but have to put him in respite to go sell up / clear out my home up north,as under contract (finally).

Will I cope with this year?

Well,
If my track record is any indicator... chances are...
- I'LL SURVIVE THIS TOO

It just crossed my mind.

So glad I have somewhere with real people to share this stuff. Thank you all, especially @Faith-and-Hope, @Owlunar, @Appleblossom, Outlander, @Adge, and @Former-Member s, and so many more...

Dear @Former-Member

You have had a lot to bear, your courage shows you are a strong, brave and an inspirational person. You have shown that it is about taking one day at a time and trying to focus on one issue at a time. Take care of yourself, keep safe and keep on sharing your experiences on the forum because you are helping so many people by showing everyone what true strength and bravery looks like.

Best Wishes and thank you.

SleepyPanda

Oh @Former-Member my heart feels for you so much. You have gone through so much trauma loss grief and despite all the heartache you have survived.

Reading your story gave me tears.

Sending you a big warm hug.

You are such an amazing courageous person.

Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

Keep swimming Hon ..... just keep swimming. Selling up your old home is a new beginning. I hope the one you are looking at comes through for you. It looks beautiful and like it could be a really cozy home.

You have so much to give, and life changes ahead of you yet. You are a survivor, a fighter ..... just keep taking that next step and see where it leads.

When you are tired and overwhelmed, stop and rest awhile .....

Here and listening. You are doing an amazing job with your Dad, but take care of you too .....

Be a friend to yourself.

Baby steps.

Hugs n hugs ...... ❤️❤️❤️

@Former-Member