Lessons for the year

Heeheehee I'm a shocker when it comes to money when manic. I buy all sorts of strange things that I could or would never need. Lately I've been buying games for my Playstation 4, and they remain in their packets, because I can't sit still long enough to concentrate on them. My GP phoned my psychiatrist and he's agreed to a big (albeit temporary thankfully) increase in mood stabilizers. It is beginning to work because I am sleeping a lot more (it's a very sedating medication) and I can go to the shops without my Visa.

I am meeting up with my Dad on the 19th and we're going shopping together. This could be 'interesting' as we usually don't get along. He finds me repulsive (his words) and I find him a tad boring (my words).

@Queenie I wish you could tell me the name of the medication ... I am on a round white pill about a cm in width quite new. Can you describe yours? I want to change or up date mine. I don't mind mine but something just isn't quite right ... I have schizoaffective disorder too ... you don't do you? I think that is off. I am hearing things and that is not quite right considering the amount of meds I am on. I am just not feeling right.

Your dad has probably forgotten he ever said it ... so I will apologise for your dad.

@Queenie my dad was not a pleasant man either once we were having an argument and he through red wine in my face and then smiled at me. I wanted to leave my family then and there but had no where to go so I had to stay ... I am sure he had forgotten by the following morning as he drank but I didn't and that would be ummm .... 30 years ago now.

I wish someone like my mother would have said I am sorry for what your dad has done but she never has and she never will.

My medications are a variety of colours and shapes @Bunniekins. They are like a rainbow of colours... a pharmaceutical feast (one is even an oily injection). Yes, you are quite right, I have schizoaffective disorder little pea. I've learned not to take good mental health for granted. Sza can be a bit of Pandora's box sometimes, with its mood fluctuations and hallucinations/delusions.

I can bet my Father has forgotten about his statement. He can be a cold unloving man towards me. All because he is married to my Mother's Sister (my aunt).

@Queenie Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! So you and I are very much alike. We have each had a rotten male role model in our lives.

Dear God! An oily injection!!!!!!! Dear God Queeenie!!!!!! No thanks I am not going for the injection ... and yes it is a Pandora's box....

I don't actually mind the injection @Bunniekins. It replaces about 5 different medications and, if done correctly, doesn't hurt.

It does sound like we are in the same pea pod with regards to male role models. It is kind of strange, as when I was young, he was completely different. Very supportive and loving. It all changed when he got married. I think he despises me to be honest.

@Queenie My father has now passed on now and I can hang onto the good memories which like you happened when I was really young ... I choose to remember those over the bad. To be honest it was a relief when he died we all could start living in peace.

Just make sure you give your Mrs your credit cards on shopping day with your dad! the 11th Jan? I will be thinking of you Queenie.

oh @Bunniekins before hubby gets home, between you and me and the gatepost, if I were 30 years younger, I would have jumped Lil Bro by now....I know just saying..

@NatalieS perhaps he likes older women ... o0o00o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o .... I am very excited for you. You never know .... xx

you know what, @Bunniekins, he has mentioned he's always got on extremely well with older people, as have I...I wouldn't want to upset our friendship/companionship...just so long as he still calls me Sis and not Mum, now that would really do my head in!

I feel like such a hypocrite now...with hubby always trawling the internet for sex or 'company' as he calls it, because he's lonely and wants heaps of sex before he dies....and now there's me with a young friend.

But he makes me so happy as we are one the same page and share alot of interests, and he just cares about how I am at any given time on any given day. Funny thing is though, we both have childhood trauma issues, abandonment issues and are still learning about boundaries...

I don't mean to keep babbling on about him, but just being with him and chatting (which we do a lot of) is really calming....ok, enough about me...how are you?????