Twisted -self care

Waves to @Shaz51

I'm trying to be super, super brave here and sharing something that I think goes in here with Twisted Self Care, but without really telling the details, I hope that's okay.

The first bad thing happened almost 50 years ago. Today I told someone a secret I've been keeping since that bad thing happened all those years ago.

They didn't tell me I'm bad, or stupid, or anything like that the way everyone else did after the bad thing happened. That made me brave enought to ask if they had any ideas about what I could do to stop the bad feelings. This person thinks waaayyy outside the box with managing things.

The really wonderful thing is that they suggested a way that I can try to deal with it.

It's really quite a twisted way of shifting the responsibility of what happened so I can throw the blame back on the person who did the bad thing to me instead of holding onto these awful feelings that get me every. single. day. because of how they connect to my life.

It didn't stop it today, but it did make me smile instead of want to cry when I had to do that daily task.

@Former-Member it sounds like the out-of-the-box suggestion might be super helpful. As you said, it didn't stop all the icky feelings today, but it might be a useful tool in your tool kit for dealing with those feelings. I super like out-of-the-box ideas.

It is awesome that you were able to tell someone the secret you've kept for almost 50 years. I know that I've often found that telling a safe person a secret helps to take the power out of the secret. I'm sorry that the people you told all those years ago didn't respond in a helpful or appropriate way. I'm so glad that the out-of-the-box suggestion might help you to shift the blame back onto the person who did the bad thing to you. That is where the blame belongs. It was not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

To a brave @Former-Member

@I feel honoured that you chose Twisted self-care a safe place to share your important experience today so thank you. Many of us here will understand completely how hard it is to have held onto secrets and carried around painful burdens for much of our lives. If this person you told your secret to made you feel that it was the right thing to do, celebrate and congratulate yourself. You’ve taken a big step forward, well done and know you’re in good company here ❤️

@Former-Member

Good night @Catcakes, @Faith-and-Hope, @Phoenix_Rising, @Former-Member, @Bubbles3

sending you all tender hugs for tonight

Hi @Catcakes

Hiya @Bubbles3 👍

Iv been trying to ta.k to you all day @Catcakes 💙