-

-

@Former-Member' point about the text based exercises is huge ... and the amount of grief out in the community.

I have to admit that I cannot concentrate on the exercises for very long and keep coming back to them in little bits.

Visual and other perceptions need to be engaged and are usually involved where there is deep trauma.

Isolation growing up resulted in finding my love of books and ideas.. so I am fairly text based and music helps me stay connected to feelings. The schools and people around me may have changed but if I could find a library ... the books and authors were often the same and a world opened up for me ... I guess that is what I mean when I say I embraced my inner loner.

I am generally shy and an introvert and recently I came across the idea of "act like an extrovert" ... as in trying on a new skill ... As a young mother I did not have the luxury of indulging my shyness and felt pushed towards a more expressive style due to needing to get help for my family ... somehow the urgency of their needs pushed me and stopped me isolating myself. There is still shame associated with that ...

I was not always comfortable with my revelations ... and might have frightened a few people away at times ... but nevertheless I gradually started to put me out there ... and got over the hurdle of being terrified and paralysed and dumbstruck all the time. It is only some of the time now and I can be in the world with both my fears and my competencies.

It has now given me some way to express myself with a bit more of a fun attitude than all the earlier serious and tragic elements of my life allowed. Mind you I made a serious study of humour and experimented with joking about 3 years ago ... it was in a social group where I had also been overwhelmed by tears many times and was often very silent ..apart from singing ... now I experiment with being a little outrageous with good will ... and people do laugh ... so now I am a bit more confident socially ... and feeling I can relate in a range of feeling tones ... not just needy, or proper, or strident about causes ... I can act with more light-heartedness ... before I may have seemed a bit like a "Social Justice Warrior" though I do care deeply about those issues.

Anyway that is a bit how I have broken through my severe isolation ... but I dont yet have a lot of affection or close friends in in my life. What has improved is my anger to those who did not struggle with trauma ... it is not as raw ... though I dont want to relinquish all the "fire in my belly". my anger was getting in the way ... of relationships ... but we need to find a level where we are not too naive and gullible ...and get into more abusive situations ... yet have enough openness to empathise ...

Dunno ... just some thoughts ... I really like the quality of discussion though.

So who here is going to be isolated over Christmas?

Is it again forum rules to organise to meet in Sydney if we are able?

-

Hi @BamBam,

As @Former-Member mentioned organising a catch-up is against the guidelines. Checking out what's going on in your community is great idea.

Also, @Former-Member, @BamBam and @Former-Member keep an eye for stuff going in here! We're going to holding a virtual x-mas party on the 23rd of December. More details will posted soon. We also got a Topic Tuesday coming up about Finding Joy at Christmas time. That should happen 15th of Dec. So there's a few events going on in this community. Would love if y'all could attend.

-

@Former-Member I have spent some recent christmases alone ... probably will come here on line ... not sure what will happen this year but have started having the conversation with my son ... I often relinquish it to his father ... son is hoping to get work on christmas eve ... and I was exactly the same as him regarding that at his age . .. double time always attractive.

At first it was hard, but I am adopting a pragmatic proactive approach. I sing midnight mass and sleep through the day ... as it is what I can do and detach from family gathering type discussions.

I may not be as good at dealing with anger as I hope ... in that my new doctor was struck by my anger on the first visit a couple months ago ... I was overwhelmed by tears and SI at the time ... but spilled some angry comments too ... or maybe she doesnt realise how angry I could be if I decided I should be angry ...

I think I have it somewhat controlled ... with smoke coming out my ears only ocassionally ... but I also know what you are talking about with the bullying manager syndrome ... so many women are like that (and men too ... but the women) ... so a part of me thinks if all those people can think it is normal to throw their anger around ... then its my turn to have a few public tanties ...

Anyway I think it will be a good topic to address on the forum.