Christian Chat

It is good you had some good moments with your father. @ENKELI . I saw other kids hurt by their fathers. I copped it from a foster. It seems a curly path to honour the truths of our relationships. My biological dad knew people who went down on the HMAS Sydney.

@DownMoreThanUp the generations had their different challenges and approaches.

God Bless you both

And to @Realness @Lozenge @heartathome and any one reading along...

God bless @Appleblossom, yes it is good that I can remember some good times with dad. It's just a shame my half Narcissister created strife between us the last 6 months of his life.

I still struggle to find forgiveness for her, but as Jesus said, 70 times 7 (Matthew 18:21-22)

@ENKELI

Sorry to hear your dad's failure has cost you so dearly. That is horrible. I got hurt a lot too, and found the long-term effects of painful injustice much harder to live with than the original injustice. Did you find that too?

For me it could go two ways — either I agreed with the injustice and turned the blame on myself or others, or I got so grieved by the lovelessness that I confused it with the ones I love. But with both of them, it's the wound doing the talking.

Healing seems to need a proper order — protection, care, love, then room to heal. When the hurt is deep, it can be very hard to find forgiveness in those dark places inside. Yet I've found it's not letting anyone off for what they did — it's breaking free from it myself. Job taught me to understand that when he prayed for his friends last chapter.

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Did you find that your dad passing away helped you understand yourself, as well as him, better more clear, true from not true?

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(I did, when my dad passed away. As if the good he lived went to Heaven, and the bad he lived we buried along with the bad weather. For it rained and was a cold January day he was buried in Holland. I had been forced to watch his funeral on a screen. And I saw everyone was dressed up warm. It was back in 2021, with the world in lockdown. The lies ruling were still keeping him and me apart even then.)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlCySi_yQKs&list=RDdlCySi_yQKs&start_radio=1

Yes @ENKELI we had the 70 x 7 reading today.

I really like that @DownMoreThanUp wrote:

"Healing seems to need a proper order — protection, care, love, then room to heal."

My understanding is that real forgiveness requires all those things and is not just a forced mindset, with little processing or integration. I dont pressure or preach forgiveness. I had it preached a lot by mother who, also seemed to betray people a lot, my father and 2 siblings who died and than me. I always forgave her the abandonment when I was 6 and her ignorance and her mental ill health. Truly, but did not have much possibility for boundaries. We I may have romanticised my time with my father, as tiny snippets of memory that was a good, so that I dont fall into total despair or cynicsm. I have been told by therapists I should be more angry about what happened to me and us all. I am more in touch with my anger these days, but cannot live in it as it actually hurts my neck so I find ways to move through it as soon as possible. Part of my neck condition, is due to overwork from filling in where my parents were not able. I had a high workload. It has taken a lifetime to get an idea of the real damage and what so called 'normal' families may be like. I did need to find a sense of seeing my parents as whole people and struggling humans. A lawyer said I would get more money if I sued the state for returning us to my parents, but I just could not do that.

I am grateful for singing this morning and peer group in the afternoon. I also had a short walk to the river.

@heartathome @Realness and all

@Appleblossom @DownMoreThanUp @Realness @heartathome

I've had a bit of a setback.

I found out that my half sister has been lying to my brother and I and has already scattered my dad's ashes, despite her promising she would not do so until all of us could be there to do it.

I am devastated. I feel like God couldn't give a damn about me and how I feel.

What loving God allows such cruel behaviour.

I think I am truly losing my faith in God and His so called promise that He will never leave nor forsake me.

I really think it would be easier to give up, it's not doing me any good being faithful to a God who doesn't care about me.

I am safe but have been thinking life isn't worth living 😕

Hearing you @enkeli. That sounds so tough. Please hang in there. A lot of people care about you here.

Hi @ENKELI ,

What a selfish disrespectful thing to do! You're in my prayers.

Thank you @BAO your words are appreciated 🥰

Thanks @Realness, I really am grateful to you and the Christian friends here on Sane.

Prayers are much appreciated 🥰🫂

@ENKELI I am very Sorry to hear that.

I cannot make reassuring promises to you, but I do hope you find inner strength and a way through all of this.

Take care of yourself.

gently bently

Apple