@heartathome @ENKELI @AuntGlow @Appleblossom @tyme
i have had another good day today.Chatted with our past foster son for over a hour. He wants me to witness that he told me what he did, as it is his version of events is not bought by the police. To be honest, i do not know if my version will help him much. Just not enough evidence that anything did really happen. Yet both my wife and me knew he was a greatly troubled person, and obviously been exposed to some really sad and disturbing things for a boy only 13, as stuffed up as he already was.
He proved to be one of my much more challenging 'cases.' Connecting had not been all that hard, he was desperate for love, acceptance and time given, but his totally contradictory abusive behaviours towards people reaching out and coming to close, where just not adding up, as i had experienced with damaged people before on the streets. They would simply not come back to see me. However such had been really rare, and often they would later on, open up again. i figured they were embarrassed they did, and became unsure later, made sense to me anyhow knowing their stories.
Most young people that opened up to me felt safe enough to unload their personal burdens once they got to know me. Which then created a trust with which i would work. Yet here was someone where two reactions were running side by side, one seemingly just as active as the other.
i met a boy deeply hurt, starving for love and acceptance! i knew such states of being too from my youth. Jesus and my wife and kids had filled that place with good. Yet there was also another part of him, i knew within me as the raging self i had hid in the past, and linked completely to evil spirits the voices, rather than myself in state, (and unbeknown to me had medicated away for several years already thinking that part of me was gone) i knew nothing about mental illness then apart of A.D.H.D. Nevertheless i could not reach him in that state. He actively self sabotaged on a level i had not witnessed before. He was totally unreasonable and self destructive in another self outwardly, rather than in an inward manner the way i had dealt with it.
He says now. he abused me. you worked for him. i did not trust you. He had told me in a rage, might even have been after being with his case worker. i can remember he had been impossible, addressing me into totally contradictory selves. Like constantly making up his abusive behaviours after raging, often also at me, and i was trying to calm him down a walk on the beach later in the evening him making dramas at home.
And i recall how he hated the departments case worker. Also how he had told me about him being abused, and how i had carefully tried him to talk with me again about that. Made easy moments our conversations but met avoidance, worsening behaviours, and him making sure he had to leave us.
i still worked with him for a bit tho, but he gone of the deep end, him telling me makes very much more sense now. So yes i can see that what he says now is worth investigating further on his behalf. if only part of what i heard had happened, such behaviours truly make a lot of sense. It speaks of severe harms inflicted over a prolonged period of his life, by various individuals in care, not at home. Although some pretty horrific stuff happened to him there as well.
He wants my wife and me to be witness he told us for his whole case depends on it. Difficult stuff right now, to sick to go to Town. No interest having detectives around either. I had asked him to keep my name out unless he ran into trouble. Now he has.
Not sure if my wife is a valid witness or would want to be. For i told her, he didn't. He only told me, but in a way that was not instantly believable, but had me alarmed. In retrospect if his abuser was ongoing abusing him during the time our place, or he was badly traumatised this could be the case again, 'us on his side', his behaviour do make much more sense.
Hard issues. i asked him if i could simply do an additives for now. He was going to check out. Maybe you know this works in real life @Appleblossom ?
Peace.
To The Speakers of Words
Words are strange things.
We use them every day
hoping they will somehow carry
what lives inside us.
Yet even our best sentences
only touch the edges
of what we truly mean.
A smile says more than explanation.
A trembling voice reveals more than argument.
Laughter escapes language altogether,
while grief can leave us speechless for years.
We speak,
yet so much remains hidden.
Fear hides behind cleverness.
Anger disguises hurt.
Religious certainty can conceal confusion.
Even love often struggles to find its own voice.
For words alone cannot fully describe
what it means to be human.
No sentence can perfectly explain
why one person feels safe,
another ashamed,
another divided,
another filled with joy.
Life is deeper than vocabulary.
This is why truth is more than information.
A person may speak beautifully
while living falsely.
Another may struggle for words
yet carry kindness everywhere they go.
What matters most is not merely
what we say,
but what our lives become.
The heart always speaks louder in the end.
Even Scripture is not merely ink on paper.
Without love, mercy, and living truth,
words can become weapons,
accusations,
or cold religion.
Yet when truth is lived,
something greater appears:
compassion,
thankfulness,
honesty,
presence,
grace.
These things cannot be manufactured by language alone.
They must be experienced.
Perhaps that is why the deepest truths
are often felt before they are understood.
A mother holding a child.
A friend remaining through suffering.
Forgiveness after betrayal.
Peace arriving after years of fear.
Joy returning to a broken face.
No dictionary can fully contain such things.
Words may point toward truth,
but they can never replace it.
For living truth is not trapped inside sentences.
It is revealed in how we love,
how we endure,
how we forgive,
and how we remain open-hearted
before God and one another.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwX1f2gYKZ4&list=RD6nE0S_Dq4tE&index=13
