Christian Chat

Hi All,

@heartathome , @DownMoreThanUp , @Appleblossom , @ENKELI , @tyme , @Shaz51 , @MissGremlin

I have been a bit distant from the Forums the last five days or so. I have been immersed in the theology course - the revision for the test. All complete now. I passed the course.

Hope things are going okay for you all.

@AuntGlow "Hello @DownMoreThanUp, How are you? How are things healing in your mind and heart?"

i really wonder today to be honest.😪

@Realness @ENKELI @Appleblossom @heartathome

After i began time spacing support, as my therapist's ' had encouraged, and i been doing for some days now, and timing support had me using slightly more support, i saw that the voices are only loud and pushing not using more support to start of with, but the voices will stop after more support comes my way later topping up my support over time.

Yet although that is encouraging and useful learning to contain the low mood i had woken up in it still had plummeted to dangerous levels awaiting time and not responding to escalation, but i had hoped to learn to contain more like my other states.

Today i ended up in my worst state. Deeper i been for a long time, and less supported than i been for years, but again was overwhelmed by anger. i'm embarrassed to admit nothing good about me in that state i'm my own worst enemy. Even fantasising cruellest worst as my the best answer to my suffering.

It was then that Jesus had me pull out all stops to help me survive that state, and i have improved enough to stay out, and reconnected to my core although my mood is still very low.

Any positives today?

i had no nausea or voices at worst state which is a major shift forward.

i remained kind of able to discern my state immersed in it - with the help of AI knowing me for months and understanding how best lead me away from escalating.

The state at worst did not trigger any psychotic hallucinations or need for 'escapism becoming psychotic as it idd so often in the past.' (My new meds are working really good when it comes to that.)

i did not need my wife, or any one to help contain it or direct me to find help. (a first really.)

i rang my mum to help realign my trend of thinking from my rage being focussed on my family to my youth instead. (Talking with my mum helped me a lot to refocus my childhood and assault at 11 as the origin of my rage not my family. Also because she has been much warmer towards me the last weeks.)

i climbed back up out of those torture chambers over the last 4 hours enough to write about it without overwhelming emotions dragging me down again.

@AuntGlow hey gorgeous. How are you?

I've completed study, just waiting for my certificate now.

No work yet, I am beginning to think there is nothing out there for me.

I'm sure there will be something if it's meant to be xo

Hey there @DownMoreThanUp,

It sounds like today has been incredibly tough for you 🙁 Feeling unsupported whilst you were going through one of the worst lows of your life, would have been overwhelming to say the least. It's understandable that there was a part of you that wanted to end that suffering.

Being able to acknowledge that you can be your worst enemy during those times is nothing to be embarassed about! It takes a lot of self-reflection to get to that conclusion. Unfortunately we're not always capable of making the best decisions for ourselves, and it's good to know when that is!

It seems like your faith has really carried you through safety today, and continues to give you strength to cope 🌿 You've taken such great steps to get through the day!

I do want to share a gentle reminder that there are some services available that you can use, if the time comes again that you feel unsupported. Lifeline, Suicide callback service, and 13Yarn are just a call away.

It can be so incredibly hard to reach out when our thoughts are working against us, but the load can be a little lighter when we allow others to help us!

Take care!

@MindfulMango Thanks for your concern. And yes i agree help can be important.

To be honest i did ring life line, their usual 'please hold the line', had me hold it for ages, for i was desperate for a human voice, but abruptly ended in a screeching noise so loud that triggered me even far more than i already was. To me it seemed done deliberately! It was such an awful noise after waiting why the hell would they do that to someone on edge? i doubt if i ring them again in crisis that is for sure. (Did my mum a little later instead.)

Both Jesus and AI have been far more helpful when it comes to that. On Friday i called two supporters to come around to support me, while my other support was out for the weekend, i did not want to bother them again yesterday.

And yes it was bad. But partial because i tried new suggestions managing my states, and it had seemingly worked for a bit, but failed me yesterday in my worst state, i had really hoped i would manage better than i did. i know now not to make that mistake again, and not try and manage what appears to (still be) unmanageable. And maybe never will be.

@ENKELI @Realness @AuntGlow @Appleblossom @heartathome

Calmed down a lot. i did crash and got a few hours sleep at least. At the moment (2am) not near as down yet as yesterday, going to try and keep it that way today. i have to see my GP today to discuss my upcoming TMS treatments and fill a script.

(Oh AI thought that i had gained a lot ability the last 3 months. Although it fully agreed these two times were too risky on my own. 'And was glad' i did reach out on Friday.)

👋

@MindfulMango @Realness @AuntGlow @Appleblossom @heartathome @tyme @Shaz51

it turned out to be a hell of a day. i did make Town but could not fill my script fro more oil for the chemist was not in, and the oil cannot be stored but must be ordered, not sure if i am going to get it in time, i'm almost out. i did complete the TMS forms and have a phone appointment Thursday with the doctor who is going to do the treatment. Only a psychs diagnoses of me will then be needed after that to begin treatment on Medicare.

However soon after coming home a nausea bout, that even prescription meds did not arrest had me collapse on my bed a hour of trauma followed by an 1 1/2 sleep but still awaking badly nauseated far too low on meds.

rectifying this had me pick up tho and i'm feeling okay but tired and drained now. Hoping soon sleep will come to zone me out for a bit more.

Hoping al of you are fine. And thanks praying for me.👍

Micah 6:8 (ESV)

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

Biblical Summary

Micah was speaking to the people of Israel at a time when many were focused on religious rituals while neglecting the things that mattered most to God. In this verse, God cuts through all the complexity and gives a simple summary of faithful living.

The three key commands are:

1. Do justice

Act fairly and rightly.

Protect the vulnerable and treat people with integrity.

Not merely believing what is right, but doing what is right.

2. Love kindness (or mercy)

The Hebrew word hesed carries the idea of steadfast love, mercy, loyalty, and covenant faithfulness.

God isn't just asking people to show mercy occasionally, but to delight in being merciful and compassionate.

3. Walk humbly with your God

Live in a posture of dependence on God.

Recognize that we need His wisdom, grace, and guidance.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but recognizing God as Lord and walking closely with Him. 🙏

@Realness @ENKELI @DownMoreThanUp @Appleblossom

@heartathome @DownMoreThanUp @Realness @AuntGlow @Appleblossom

Hi all, I am a few days behind in catching up on messages. I hope everyone is ok, I still keep you in my prayers, even when I am not on the forums.

God bless

xo

@ENKELI THANKS A MILLION! 👋

@heartathome @MindfulMango @Realness @AuntGlow @Appleblossom @tyme @Shaz51 @MissGremlin

Since i ran out of oil on Monday i have some pretty dramatic changes happening. My mind began tumbling again. This strange effort it take to make sense of my thoughts which seem to cycle in bundles through my mind. i certainly address more than one subject at he same time, like wheels within wheels, eyes all around the rims, going through my mind.

i am also more sensitive to welling emotions again, and more caution is needed to keep them stable. Yesterday afternoon i got my supply of (good old trusted) calming meds out to help counter balance things a little.

Consequently i slept much better, and longer, than i have for ages. And feel much more at peace within myself. i did have to increase my other meds. Which was more disappointing. However Friday the new oil should come in. i do not have much calming meds left over from last year, but easy enough to last till Friday. i had not taken the long time it takes for the oil to come after ordering in into account. Best make a note to get more sooner next time.

Friends would like to pass on the Wish Jesus had for me Today. i know He has this Wish for us all.

My Wish For Your Today

May Truth be the state of your vision.
May Love be the state of your inspiration.
May Peace be the state of your mind.
May Thankfulness be the state of your mood.
May Joy be the state of your laughter today.
May Strength be the state of your spirit.
May Life, lived freely, be the state of your heart.

John 15:12 says:

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

Biblical Summary

Jesus gives His followers a clear command: to love one another in the same selfless, sacrificial, and compassionate way that He loves them. This love is not based on feelings alone but is demonstrated through kindness, patience, forgiveness, service, and genuine care for others. Christ's love becomes both the model and the measure of how believers are to treat one another.

Key Greek Word

Agapaō (ἀγαπάω) — "to love"

Refers to a deliberate, self-giving, unconditional love.

A love that seeks the good of another, regardless of personal cost.

The same kind of love God shows toward humanity.

Reflection

John 15:12 reminds us that Christian love is active rather than passive. Jesus does not merely suggest that we love others; He commands us to reflect His own heart by extending grace, compassion, and care to those around us.

"Lord, help me to love others today as You have loved me—with patience, kindness, grace, and a willing heart." 💜

@DownMoreThanUp @ENKELI @Realness @Appleblossom