@AuntGlow Yes He did. The depression had me back in my religious alter yesterday trying to sabotage myself into going back into a do it yourself salvation. To stop being condemned a life that had me lose everything and still believing Jesus was with me. (i can fall big time stopping my meds, and forbidding myself The Word as i live Him 1 John 4. In The past i have had major break downs heeding it.)
@ENKELI Thanks offering your sleep, i did get 4 hours so that is more than double i been getting lately.🤗 (i hope you still got some too😴)
@Appleblossom @heartathome @tyme @Realness
For i deny Jesus paid my price, and demand from myself more than trust in Jesus, and God's Word, to survive my states the old way of obedience through willpower, doctrines, creeds, values and moral adherence to God's truths literally - according to the letter as taught, not The Word lived His grace as i have learned to meet Jesus real life support, and not just a religious person doing the right things but never meet Him.)
And although fighting my down at these levels myself, i'm beginning to be strong enough to resist such unreal demands, but it does not stop it, and then when i begin to attack the very things that have me survive while full on suicidal i know i run greatest risk ever tearing myself to bits.
However Jesus met me after i again declared war on myself, like usual around these themes when depressed and feeling cut of from my faith the Down. For in my religious self i have been the most obnoxious and stubborn not to follow The Word as i have but do it the Church's ways forcing religious performance to be the focus rather than faith, trust and hope i have been surviving on.
In the end The Word met me Matthew 23, placed me in Romans 10 my salvation a religious person, and told me gently to show mercy to myself within myself, rather than let animosity continue ruling the moments my woes. And no longer to believe i had any ground to stand ruling my life misery my religious upbringing and ought to heed Colossians 2:16-23, not believe chapter 3:1-3 will ever arrive not doing not living the verses 4-17 His righteousness within. The amazing part was Jesus all love for me although i had not loved myself much at all in conflict once more, and placed me precisely where i was in my inner world of being The Word He is in Alive in me opening the word when He called me into His presence His Spirit within Romans 10. Crashed exhausted the battle after that and slept 4 hours rock solid and woke up feeling much better recently.👍
i did have a call with our ex foster son who had been waiting for me to call him back for i had been too unwell when he had wanted to speak with me a few days ago. It was good to catch up. And hear how he is keeping himself out of jail the last 6 months on probation. And a date were he was finally going to meet up his two boys after 6 years had been set. As well as discussing how best deal with ourselves in state the trauma of our past, not suppressing, but addressing compulsive issues with the right guidance - e.g Jesus. For he has also been really busy with opening up abut his childhood traumas after all these years hiding it.✌️
Still downish but much more level headed than yesterday's state.
Judged
Oh Judgemental eye you better shudder,
always condemning sin even in the other.
In you merciful love cannot be found,
only an evil eye within roving around.
Crowning wicked eye rule as king within,
creating a wrongful heart heeding sin.
Be warned on The Day of Christ Return
untrue resisting His love will surely burn!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3ybTdz1k_s&list=RDw3ybTdz1k_s&start_radio=1
