Christian Chat

I'm glad your son's visit was so healing for both of you @DownMoreThanUp ! I hope you get some sleep tonight.💜

Hi @DownMoreThanUp ,

Great to hear the time with your son went so well.

I will continue to pray for you, your wife and the situation.

@DownMoreThanUp my brother there are no words I can offer, nor will I try. I am praying for you, praying for your wife and praying for breakthrough with you both.

You have a firm foundation, you know Jesus is fighting for you.

As always, God bless and much agape love xo

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@ENKELI wrote:

@AuntGlow hey there lovely.

I contact the educational institute and was advised that all Cert 3 Business Administration courses now have these units that must be completed. I think it is probably good for younger students but I do wish they had RPL as I would have been onto the second semester by now. I guess I am frustrated because I have been working in administration for 30 years but because businesses want their employees to have a certification I am required to do the course to get hired in jobs I know back to front.

I'm almost finished this part though so soon enough I'll be into the meaty stuff!

I don't think I have healed from the trauma of previous toxic workplaces. It will be interesting to see if I have when I commence a new position. I have been out of paid work for 2 years, having been caring for my dad and then studying. I think I need to stay away from Transport as the majority of Transport companies have the same toxic environment.

Yes, Telstra was the best employer I have had by far. I have a file full of commendations for customer service as well as sales performance and while part of it is due to my personality and empathy, part of it is definitely because of the excellent training I had. Of course government organisations are always better to work for than private companies as govt will adhere to workplace law and guidelines when private companies will do what they can to get around them in some instances.

I would love a govt job again, not because they are cushy but because they offer the stability and structure that I prefer. I didn't much like having to sell to customers and answer calls for 9 hours a day but it was an environment that I felt secure in.

Once I have finished this course I will be applying for medical positions as well as records management. God's got it all under control though!

xo

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I understand this - it's frustrating when you have the experience, but not the qualifications, isn't it? @ENKELI Good on you for perservering. What will the meaty stuff entail?

Thank you for sharing this with me. I really do hope you find an aligned and supportive workplace. It sounds like you're really good at what you do, especially when you're in a space that allows you to be you.

I can imagine that the security would be very grounding too.

It sounds like connecting to prayer and putting your trust in God will be really helpful throughout this transitional period. 🥰

Also I read your comment about challenges finding a suitable bulk-billing GP and I wanted to validate how hard things are right now, especially economically. How you're feeling is so understandable. I wish it were easier. 💛

@DownMoreThanUp I was led to this song for you, saying you have to lose your life to gain it. That is so true!

David Meece was one of the first Christian performers I ever heard back in the 80's and this song has a verse in it that has always resonated with me -

"They say the man that finds his life will lose it, and mine was slipping away,
But, oh, the man that has the faith to lose it will find that his life is saved."

Have a listen if you feel up to it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPZNWvW0MK0

@AuntGlow @ENKELI @Realness @heartathome @AlwaysMyself @Appleblossom

GREAT SEEING YOUR SUPPORT.

i just finished my first meeting. It was awesome. He is good we both know that. He helped before and in just a hour laid bare some major things i need to deal with.

Just finished the session and have much more hope for myself than i did before. He understood even my spirit world after a bit of chatting, and we've been putting it all in his language and understanding of things.

Not God or devil. No psychosis or alter. No mentally ill person. No C.P.T.S.D dumping all labels, and get to the person underneath that all.

me.

He constantly had to calm me down. This is the biggest thing i must focus on - my need to share my thoughts and feelings when people connect with me. (you all know this of me as well😁)

Always driving everyone away in the end. And me talking 10000 miles per hour running after them not wanting to loose that connection for i missed it so much a kid. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

VERY helpful to understand how what happened then and is still hurting me badly. For when i go like that my best intentions already f... the story up my need for connection. So only when people love me can they take it and even then they often struggle such intensity of need for connection in me.
We spend spend a lot of time on that. i need to learn to hold in that NEED IN NOT HEED the NEED to do that. Instead connect with myself doing that. Not continue talking and clinging to others for love and recognition, but give attention to myself for i obviously need it very badly.

a negative forums might have those seeking connection but it is within themselves the need to connect seeking that elsewhere than where we are need it - INSIDE - hurting our need - becoming emotionally activated by it - while such will only last a few chats, however nice and wonderful such a chat is, it will NEVER heal the hurt not being loved, or traumatized by loved ones a kid.

He showed, what we already knew, others cannot give the good mum and dad didn't, nor do objects, status or substances.

This is a painful FACT in my LIFE not going to change DOWN here. i cannot do that either though i know love is GOOD - and i can TALK FOREVER to stay connected - while nothing is allowed to hinder that connection for the wrong reasons.

But with Jesus/self love within myself i need to find my hurt of heart. The VERY place needing connection so badly, and make that connection with myself needing connection in love - we know the love of God.

This is what will heal that incredible urge in me to share my thoughts and feelings still ruling me. And drove my loved away from me in the end. Even though they do love me for when triggered i would hassle them for what they could not give and then blame them not giving it.

Very complex story really.

So hopefully will be able to discuss matters calmly and i stop CHASING HER LOVE for myself to fill a vacuum she can never fill no matter how much she loves me.

This is what i need to learn and i want to talk the need to explain - and love myself away bit by bit, saying less and less without any NEED to explain or connect, but healing this need/urge within loving myself the love my parents did not, (love myself to death, (Rev 14:13) but i know The Father does and so does Jesus.

Big job people - @heartathome should result in shorter, more concise and clearer posts in the end.😁

LOVE TO ALL.

i'm going to have a shower and relax a bit.

realized i'm living Rev 1-7: once more from very interesting perspective.

For when Jesus appeared in my pain i saw this ending to that meeting today. (For my councilor warned me to keep that - urge to talk - be loved - be heard - AWAY - not HEED it because i still hurt the rejection of my mum and dad. (not doing good yet😁)

Rev 2:8-11)

“And to the angel of the church in Smyrna write,

‘These things says the First and the Last, who was dead, and came to life: “I know your works, tribulation, and poverty (but you are rich); and I know the blasphemy of those who say they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second death.” ’

So Jesus is telling me that to 'REACH' Him - the truth of myself about all this - i will be persecuted my me searching after my truth, by the strongholds that make me go - have to explain - and the whole mental barrage that follows me looking for love, affirmation and recognition that has shaped me since i was a little kid tormented by hot needs not being loved but always rejected an image of self loved and wanted.(only for ten days if i keep my eyes on Jesus tho)

As we all need. Truly i'm an example of the fatherless Scripture is on about. So comforting to know that.

@ENKELI AMEN! Thanks for that song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m9YkNAfz2E&list=RD6m9YkNAfz2E&start_radio=1

@DownMoreThanUp hey my friend. I have been spending a lot of time in prayer and worship, listening to a lot of old Christian music from the 80's - David Meece, Kenny Marks and Maranatha. I got to see Kenny Marks when he came to Perth back in the early 90's, my first Christian concert.
While I love a lot of the current contemporary music of now singers like David Meece really hit the spot and didn't sing of the fluff and happiness that a lot of performers do these days.

I'm struggling with tiredness and not having a GP. I am coping with anxiety and trying to discern the truth of what my sister tells me and what is real. I hate that I am so far away and can't get over east to at least be able to sort through my dad's possessions, especially since he promised things to me (his father died on the HMAS Sydney and I've always been interested in the Sydney) that I can't guarantee I'll get. Most of it is books and photos that were before my sister was even conceived yet she holds the balance of power.
I need to let go. I need to be able to hear God talk to me again.

I need to stop being so darned emotional for silly things.

But thing I am doing with passion is praying for you. You're going through such a tough time and you're never far from my thoughts and especially focussed in prayer.

Wow, it sounds like ypu have had 2 really good powerful conversations today @DownMoreThanUp 😊 - your son and the session this evening. I really love your relfection you wrote about self-love and needing to give yourself some attention and love too. 🥰

I see many people accidently push away their family and friends because they are dependent upon external love in excess to make up for their own lack of self-love. Compared to people who have healthy self-love and can also accept others love but are not dependent upon it.

I know you can heal, and i believe you will. Ypu have God, you have your support people (like the one this evening), and now it also sounds like you have your son also willing to try to help when able 🥰.

I am so glad the voices have been quieter tonight.

I am curious - but only when you are feeling up to answering and only if you wish to - how do you yourself know whether the 'voices' are psychosis, self-talk or spiritual? 🤔 im really curious! As being someone myself who has never experienced psychosis. Im really interested in your insight, and hope it can help me in both helping you and others who may also experience it in the future. 🥰

Hugs @ENKELI . That sounds really stressful with your sister and the estate. 😥.

I also read via AG's response that you're doing a Cert III in business admin 😊. Totally agree re: 30 years experience being worth so much more than the cert III. Im sorry that employers dont seem to be able to see past that. Im really proud that you are being practical and accepting the unfortunate fact and doing the certificate to get the paper. Hopefully there will be little bits and pieces also that might be new or from a niche you havent worked in before 😊.

Fingers crossed you can get a Gov job, with the more flexible adjustments and work conditions 😊. If you do want to go into Medical you could see if there are any Health Information Service/Management roles and/or reception work in your local hospitals 😊. I know a few people who have started in the hospital record reception role, then moved into the general medical record admin roles (eg release of records to patients/doctors) and then into other areas they are interested in also after that. I dont know a lot about hospital medical records, but i know a little from working alongside if you ever want to pick my brain about it. I also used to be a receptionist for various allied health and medical in the past 😊. I would switch between that and IT work, and then i ended up doing IT in healthcare 😅.