@tyme So true. and not just me but also pray for my wife, and children, also getting more and more drawn into the battle of my heart and mind, having been through what they been through.
@heartathome @Realness @MissGremlin @Shaz51 @MissGremlin
Trialing times. This has been going near 30 years of and on in intensity but always 24/7 for me, just better or worse days.
Today has been a shocker
My mum rang me which was nice but a lot of judgment my wife leaving. i tried and explain my side and that my wife although hurt did not quiet live it like that. Anyhow we talked some time longer. Which was nice even though she clearly thought i was the bad guy and should do this and that about it. (Ridiculous stuff i'm far too sick to do) Then we parted for my sister came to visit her. however she forgot to turn off and the things she said to my sister about me cut me really really deep.i ftantically tried to find the conversation back so i could close it but before i did she destroyed me already. So hurting this ii chatted with my wife to share my hurt, how i was hurting my talk with my mum meeting her rejection once more like that.
Yet she supported my mum saying at times it has been like?Which is true but hasn't been like ages even with me sick. so i get triggered big time!
i really have to cut off more and more to survive what i cannot survive without her. And she the same really but at least full on support and the ability to meet others and other meeting her. i have been on my own since Wednesday hurting evil voices in my head slandering me my family, mocking me my love for them, hating me while hurting them, and surrounding me their hate not my families, but i do not know what voice is real and who is not when they do not talk to me their hate and scorn.
My wife said they are going to set up a meeting tomorrow night for a support team. However she gets upset i need someone with me asking for someone now for she feels guilty leaving me, and says just wait till we get you support, wen i'm so needy for love and support. And sleep of course. We both know it best she is not with me, but i'm still having a hard time. Such is my catch 22 of misery diet.
Hopefully within 24 hours i have some answers at least how to work this through best
Blessings.
