Christian Chat

@Honeymoon i know i found beautful people here. Jesus brought me here. He is so merciful and just for He wants them also to find healing like He does me.

@Realness @tyme @Shaz51 @AlwaysMyself @heartathome @MissGremlin

It is the letting GO that is so hard. satan hates me so. and i can agree with him so badly so1 i hate to be honest about this. i have ewen hated since birth. i cry out for love. love is all i want.

i'm tired so very very tired. but i do not dare get help other than we do. They will lock me up treat my like dung drug me incapable and then have me tormented year in year out blaming me for not doing as they want to make it even worse.

i have to let go of all the anger injustice cruelty of it all.

i have ALWAYS LOVED my loved ones. At first also my dad, but that turned to hate later on, and then again, aftern i realised my dad been through with his dad a kid. i have NEVER wanted to do anybody any harm. It are those voices wanting me to do that. They have all point fingers at me telling me to do, and obey, the very thing the wicked want me to do. And I KNOW i'm NOT allowed to obey EVER, for then they become me, but want to obey for i hate the meds a lot where i need the most.

Crappy isn't it? But i'm learning.... running low on my meds now though. did not expect that to happen. i need potent meds now. big time. and sleep! oh do i need sleep. Human wise speaking if i get depressed no i'm a goner! But i know that Jesus has taken care of that in my raging alter, so only my religious to keep an eye on. complicated stuff friends.

Hi @DownMoreThanUp ,

@DownMoreThanUp ,

Oops. More following.

@DownMoreThanUp ,

Just wondering when you last slept?

@Realness See my dear friend this is the trouble. i m the bad man. there was no support possible, for i get bombarded by spirituality coming along with them, very long after they leave, not know what is true and what is not true driving me literally nuts.

@tyme @Honeymoon @Shaz51 @AlwaysMyself

That is why THE WORD OF GOD is my hope. FOR THE WORD OF GOD, at least the O.T, is Jesus in living being having overcome all of this. It is Him i have been meeting in my lost life self. It is Him who made sure me and mty wife apart now. For this is the most crucial part of it all DELIVERANCE.

i have learned and am learning not to look at people, so i do nott see the spirits pulling faces while people lie to me their fear or disgust of me even as they speak their love. Sin is like that. i used to have that issue as well. Jesus teaching delivered me. i know He will deliver me again. i know ONLY Jesus is trust worthy. Both my wife and me KNOW this BELIEVE this HOPE in JESUS!

and me gone the bad i have been in wrong forever!!!!

This is why your prayers mean so much to me. Love will always support me, the more the better it will be in my inner desolation a rejection mindset is a black hole i'm afraid, plenty souls gone down that way by the looks of ETERNITY out THERE!Or not?

walking together with you @DownMoreThanUp 😍

@Shaz51 that is what i love about you. you know what it is to suffer. You know how hard it gets. You are able to feel pity. i have been denied all of this for so long. but i also hear other stuff of course so i have to let go. always let go. Find Jesus get washed. Get back up.

@Realness @tyme @Honeymoon @AlwaysMyself

The devil is such a creep.

love is real though. satan cannot fight love. We all know our LORD!

(If i do not reply to your chat please do not take that personal i'm totally overloaded right now. i hear your love. but so much going on. QUESTIONS?????

i need to sleep. SLEEP! And if things do not calm down soon i need more meds before i will

going to zone out for a bit

@DownMoreThanUp ,

You are not the bad man. You are forgetting all the good you do for many people. And it is the complex mental health issues you have that make it possible in many cases. Your friends that you write to. Your forum family. Your foster son. Your other children. Your beautiful and amazing wife.

When your life is going well, and it will go well again, you lead a beautiful people-rich life.

It was Leviticus you were reading in depth wasn't it? Can you remember any of it?

Hi @DownMoreThanUp ,

My last post before I go off to do something else.

Yes, the devil is such a creep!

Hope you get some sleep or at least some type of rest.

@Realness i'm getting barely 2 1/2 hours with two sleepers. been like this since about 2 weeks ago slowly from where i was sleeping 6-7 hours a day.

@Shaz51 @tyme @Honeymoon @AlwaysMyself @heartathome @MissGremlin

it is not using the right meds that is the issue, for i try and stay in my raging alter, not using any potency only calming, to try and merge with the rest of myself using heavy potent meds to keep me away in this alter, it is all very complicated really.

Thank God i'm not going psychotic again! That's been so welcome. Could have never got this far otherwise.