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Falling apart

Falling apart

I have just discovered this forum and am hoping that i can find some people who have simillar experiences as myself.

4 weeks ago my then partner decided to end our relationship, he suffers PTSD which has turned into somewhat chronic depression.

He asked that i remain his friend as he feels as though if i didnt he would have no body.

I am upholding his request and trying to support him the best that i can. He has not done anything to hurt me in anyway and he believes that ending the relationship is better for me then me continuing to live alongside him and his depression. He feels he is not worthy of somebody doing that.

He has expressed alot more since we have seperated about his feelings towards different things that have happened throughout his life and i guess as such contributed to how he feels today.

Taking out the relationship and looking at this as even just a friend, sometimes it is very difficult. I dont know what to say or do to some of the feelings he tells me.

I am new to this forum its my first post. I am unsure how much information to give, but i am hoping there is somebody out there who has some words of support or wisdom for me.

Thanks in advance

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In response to: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

one day at a time at the moment @PeppiPatty, each day brings a new challenge..

I have the utmost highest of opinions of those of you who have been doing this for years,

ive only been doing this 2 years and its only been the last 4 months that it has spiralled out of control.

I feel like there are soo many others who have it worse then i do. Their strength is remarkable.

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

@dands26 speaking for myself here but...

I have often also thought that so many others situations are far worse than what I find myself in but in reality I believe that each of us are given the strength to do what we do relevant to our particular situation and circumstance as they arise. And that is not to diminish what anyone is going through, because it is tough.

It is hard to imagine ourselves in someone elses situation when we are, in many ways, just keeping up with our own. But that we get up each day and do it all again because we want to out of love not because we have to.

That is not always easy, thats where these forums are so valuable, we are able to discuss our days and weeks with people who 'get it' with no fear of judgment or having our loved ones judged. (That is my biggest fear with confiding in people who acctually know us, I dont ever want anyone to think less of my darling due to something I have said).

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

@Determined

Those words are so beautiful..so full of love for your lovely lady..

do not fear that you will fail her...

I sit on both forums and can tell you that when I receive such devastating responses from son...when husband has now started to respond with he cannot begin to understand .....

you are doing so much more than you perhaps are able to recognise due to such a heavy load..

you are very much a very loving ..supportive man for your beautiful darling... Do not ever doubt that..

takecare

In response to: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

oh dear on the meddler. Can you tell him/her to get lost.

It's always good to tell them how you feel.....

In response to: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

@PeppiPatty unfortunately not.
Ive done as much as i am able. Now i just have to hope there isnt a fall at all or it isnt a major one

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

And @Former-Member

You are in my thoughts my darling friend

@Faith-and-Hope xx

This is a meditation I listen to if your interested.....

here

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

Dear @dands26

It's late here in WEstern Australia: 10pm and for the first time in my life, I went to the Bridal suite to sleep. This in our home is the spare room......just waiting for one of my sons to get married........

Im reading the book of Job as I wrote I would for @Former-Member and I want to.

But first may I add to you that......the most important thing is for you to get stronger. The biigest gift I have ever gotten from this wonderful community on Sane Forums is the words "self care, self care."

So, I meditate and go to church and try very hard to spend times when I am not feeling I'm being dug in a hole with my darling husband who I love very much. Through self care, I am getting stronger so I can deal with his paranoia.

What can you do right now, tomorrow, to get stronger?

I have found that writing a pretty to the minute daily timetable to get me through the day helps.

I have a dog and taking him for a walk helps.

Meditate

Crochet

Talk to a friend,

Go to a cafe and drink a coffee.

REally really focus on a daily timetable about cleaning my home helps .....

Anything creative.

What helps you ?

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

@dands26 trust all is well as can be for you,

And that meddling can be kept to a minimum. I often wonder what people hope to achieve in sabotaging the relationships of others 😞

In response to: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

Evening @PeppiPatty
I walk & write.
I use to throw myself into work but ive learnt thats unhealthy.
I listened to the meditation you attached to the thread last night.
It helped me go to sleep soo thank you.

I have this beautiful spot.. walk along the beach with some great views. Very relaxing listening too the waves fall.

First appointment for mr tomorrow.
Im very anxious for him.

In response to: Falling apart

Re: Falling apart

@Determined its not just sabotage of the relationship but also of mr.s progress in general.

Lets hope tomorrow goes okay. We need to get through that.

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