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Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor29 Nov 2017, 4:24 pm AEDT

Falling apart

I have just discovered this forum and am hoping that i can find some people who have simillar experiences as myself.

4 weeks ago my then partner decided to end our relationship, he suffers PTSD which has turned into somewhat chronic depression.

He asked that i remain his friend as he feels as though if i didnt he would have no body.

I am upholding his request and trying to support him the best that i can. He has not done anything to hurt me in anyway and he believes that ending the relationship is better for me then me continuing to live alongside him and his depression. He feels he is not worthy of somebody doing that.

He has expressed alot more since we have seperated about his feelings towards different things that have happened throughout his life and i guess as such contributed to how he feels today.

Taking out the relationship and looking at this as even just a friend, sometimes it is very difficult. I dont know what to say or do to some of the feelings he tells me.

I am new to this forum its my first post. I am unsure how much information to give, but i am hoping there is somebody out there who has some words of support or wisdom for me.

Thanks in advance

200 replies

191 - 200 of 200

In response to: Falling apart

DeterminedSenior Contributor10 Jan 2018, 9:17 am AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Hi @dands26 how are you this morning,

Things are steady here arm.

In response to: Falling apart

ZorroContributor10 Jan 2018, 2:38 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Hi

To be brutally honest if he is just a boyfriend, it is probably better off for you to part ways and get on with life and find new people.

Sorry

In response to: Falling apart

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor10 Jan 2018, 2:48 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Hi @Zorro and welcome to the forums ....,.

That is always one choice you can make, but the heart doesn’t always follow the logic of the mind ...... which is probably a good thing. It can bring a lot of heartache to love people with mi issues, but it can be just as rewarding too, to help them on the road to recovery, or at least management of their condition. It’s a very difficult and personal choice ...... one that it is important to feel supported in.

I know there are many people who have asked why I haven’t left my husband, with all the trauma our circumstances have brought about, but it is nowhere near that simple. As it turns out for us, the condition my husband is suffering from is inherent in the personality type of our kids as well. We all have to learn to manage this as a family, whether we choose to stay together in the long term or not.

I hope you soon feel comfortable here ..... it’s a wonderful community of people.

In response to: Falling apart

DeterminedSenior Contributor10 Jan 2018, 2:50 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

I second everything @Faith-and-Hope says above.

In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor10 Jan 2018, 3:10 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Hi @Zorro
If you are here because you support someone with mi you would understand that their condition doesnt make them who they are.
If they had lost a limb and didnt have mi would you be saying better to part ways and get on with life.
They deserve love and they deserve support.
If it was just part ways and move on then nobody would stay and support them. How is that fair?

In response to: Falling apart

DeterminedSenior Contributor10 Jan 2018, 7:26 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

I agree with everything @Faith-and-Hope and @dands26 have said above.
I would go further and for me (and no diarespect to anyone who has felt the need to walk away because it is tough) but for me it is also about commitment and how invested you are in a relationship.
Walking away from my darling has never been an option even before children arrived. It would have been much easier in many reapects but it has never been an option.

In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor10 Jan 2018, 8:31 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

@Determined i completely agree.
I knew that he wasnt 100% when we started dating. I still entered the relationship anyway. I gell in love with him anyway.
Just because there have been some major triggers and his mi has spiralled out of control doesnt make me want to just part ways and get on with it.
Im sure like all of us have the slightest moment at any point when we are at the verge of careers burn out where u think it would be soo much easier to leave.
But i never would.
I love him.

In response to: Falling apart

Sanatorium23Senior Contributor21 Jan 2018, 3:06 am AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Hi,
Thanks for checking in. I’ve been away; took my mum on a little trip which we both needed. He managed ok without me and the new meds are helping the side effects. Mental health wise he’s the best he’s been in a long time, but as I’ve mentioned in another thread, there are other issues to now deal with involving substance abuse that has escalated. Won’t go into it all again, but wanted to thank you for checking in.

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor21 Jan 2018, 10:35 am AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Hi @Sanatorium23 .... 👋

Caught up with you on the other thread ....

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Shaz51Senior Contributor20 Feb 2018, 6:34 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Hello @dands26, have been thinking of you lots today , hope you ae ok

191 - 200 of 200

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.