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Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor

Falling apart

I have just discovered this forum and am hoping that i can find some people who have simillar experiences as myself.

4 weeks ago my then partner decided to end our relationship, he suffers PTSD which has turned into somewhat chronic depression.

He asked that i remain his friend as he feels as though if i didnt he would have no body.

I am upholding his request and trying to support him the best that i can. He has not done anything to hurt me in anyway and he believes that ending the relationship is better for me then me continuing to live alongside him and his depression. He feels he is not worthy of somebody doing that.

He has expressed alot more since we have seperated about his feelings towards different things that have happened throughout his life and i guess as such contributed to how he feels today.

Taking out the relationship and looking at this as even just a friend, sometimes it is very difficult. I dont know what to say or do to some of the feelings he tells me.

I am new to this forum its my first post. I am unsure how much information to give, but i am hoping there is somebody out there who has some words of support or wisdom for me.

Thanks in advance

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In response to: Falling apart

Sanatorium23Senior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

Thank you for this. I couldn’t agree more. The people on this forum are dealing with so much and some of the posts had me concerned that those who give so much to this forum had been overwhelmed by it.

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

That can happen @Sanatorium23 ..... but they/we would probably still rather have open dialogue happening about things that are usually left in the cupboard .....

Its just that it can knock you off your perch a bit and require some focussed recovery attention .... and sometimes support .... it can also flag unresolved issues which go on to be dealt with ....

Its about resilience as much as it is about recovery.

In response to: Falling apart

Sanatorium23Senior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

It is and talking is much better than staying silent, even if it’s difficult. Lots of unresolved issues for us all I think. As you said we try to fix things and find solutions and this often takes priority over our own wellbeing. Mr and I decided that we would be more open with family and friends about his illness and treatment and this has helped us both a lot. No fudging the truth about where he is when he’s in hospital and importantly no implied shame that comes from hiding the truth. They have been supportive, but talking to people here gives me real perspective. I understand not everyone can tell people, and I’ve not told too many friends, as he worries they will look at him differently and question while I’m with him.

In response to: Falling apart

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

I am sure that finding acceptance and unexpected support can be quite humbling, but it can also very hard on low self-acceptance too ...... however that is often a key to the mi's themselves, and a confronting part of the healing process.

As with everything on this landscape, it's "easy does it" .......

In response to: Falling apart

PeppiPattySenior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

DEar @Determined

Thank s for the comment. Is'nt it strange that we individuals; think;

Well, I'm going to collapse today BUT @Faith-and-Hope has it harder than me or @Shaz51 is going through both personal medical issues and her husband's medical and Psychological issues........

If they can do it.....have nothing to worry about.

Why don't I copy what @dands26 or @Sanatorium23 does so I'lle re read their messages....my life is NO way as twisty as theirs ......

I can't walk like @Faith-and-Hope does because if I do, my husband will call me constantly but I can walk like she does tomorrow with my friend into the centre of where I live......

I think that we all help each other out.

In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

Hey all,
Hope your having a good weekend,
I cant recall the conversation on Tuesday was that the one on my post here about burnout?
We all have one common goal and thats to support the ones we love and we can support each other through that.
We all have different ways of coping and of doing things. But its different for everybody because everyones illness is different.

We all get overwhelmed at times. A good majority of the time we have somebody elses world on our shoulders.

This forum is good for communicating my feelings as a carer and overwhelmed or okay i get support and can give support.
Somes stories may be more twisted then others but we are all going through a rough trot and its great how we can come together.

In response to: Re: Falling apart

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

@dands26 how are things for you tonight. Trust things are ok.

In response to: Re: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

evening @Determined

im okay, hoping ive difused some of the undoing that i mentioned the other day.

I feel like a teenager saying this,

we had a sleep over last night... in seperate beds.

One step at a time.

How are you doing?

In response to: Re: Falling apart

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

Glad to hear that @dands26, have been thinking about you since your last post. While I dont know your circumstances I have certinally felt sabotaged by external forces so feeling for you.

Hanging on tight but holding steady here,

In response to: Re: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor

Re: Falling apart

@Determined

I hope that everything works ut for the best for you.

This is such a long road and i think as carers we sometimes get lonely also.

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