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Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor29 Nov 2017, 4:24 pm AEDT

Falling apart

I have just discovered this forum and am hoping that i can find some people who have simillar experiences as myself.

4 weeks ago my then partner decided to end our relationship, he suffers PTSD which has turned into somewhat chronic depression.

He asked that i remain his friend as he feels as though if i didnt he would have no body.

I am upholding his request and trying to support him the best that i can. He has not done anything to hurt me in anyway and he believes that ending the relationship is better for me then me continuing to live alongside him and his depression. He feels he is not worthy of somebody doing that.

He has expressed alot more since we have seperated about his feelings towards different things that have happened throughout his life and i guess as such contributed to how he feels today.

Taking out the relationship and looking at this as even just a friend, sometimes it is very difficult. I dont know what to say or do to some of the feelings he tells me.

I am new to this forum its my first post. I am unsure how much information to give, but i am hoping there is somebody out there who has some words of support or wisdom for me.

Thanks in advance

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In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor07 Dec 2017, 11:25 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Tonight has been a bad night.
We seem to be having a good day or 2 and then it goes bad at the moment.
He is now unsure of his decision and contemplating changing it. He really cant see its whats best for him right now.

His birthday is coming up and hes told me tonight that he doesnt want me to do anything for him for his birthday because it would be wasted to organise or do something for him.

He cried lots, but doesnt know why he was crying.
He would occasionally ask a question like what makes me happy.
Otherwise the whole night was spent in silence.

I feel like breaking.
I am so mentally exhausted.

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor07 Dec 2017, 11:32 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

I suggest you take time out to look after you and recharge your own batteries @dands26. You need to protect yourself from carers burnout, or there will be two of you requiring support instead of one ..... and you will lose your ability to stand by him and help him.

💐💕

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Shaz51Senior Contributor08 Dec 2017, 8:28 am AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Carers Hints and tips to Success

Topic Tuesday // Burnout // 24 Jan. 7pm AEDT

Hello @dands26, I have included these 2 threads to have a look at and read , I tried to highlight them so you can click on them but it is not eorking this morning

Sending you hugs , a very long week for us here

@Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor08 Dec 2017, 9:56 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Thank you @Shaz51 for the threads, they were a good read.
Also thanks @Faith-and-Hope for the suggestion.

Mr. Had a much better day today.
I feel much more relaxed this evening.
Im enjoying a nice cup of tea while getting a shoulder rub from my 15yo step sister.

Definitely much more relaxed today.
I think hearing him in a better place today helps.
His bad days take such a huge toll on me.
I worry about him so much & the unknowing of the right thing to do sometimes.

I love this forum i feel absolutely supported

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Shaz51Senior Contributor09 Dec 2017, 3:29 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

good afternoon @dands26

how are you today xx

everything has settled down again at the moment , went food shopping this moning for us and my mum which my husband hates shopping

In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor09 Dec 2017, 11:27 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

Evening @Shaz51

Things have settled down here also.
Some clarification at work has really helped calm him

Im glad mr shaz has calmed also.

In response to: Re: Falling apart

Shaz51Senior Contributor10 Dec 2017, 11:58 am AEDT

Re: Falling apart

That`s good @dands26

How is your weekend going

My mum is 86 and wants to go to Bingo , so i am going with her , Ha ha she has always hated and never went to bingo

In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor10 Dec 2017, 2:06 pm AEDT

Re: Falling apart

@Shaz51 my weekend is going good, hows yours?

Bingo is always great fun though.

Be good too just relax for a couple of hours.

How is mr shaz doing?

In response to: Falling apart

PeppiPattySenior Contributor12 Dec 2017, 12:14 am AEDT

Re: Falling apart

This is so interesting @dands26

Thank you for sharing.......

Ill get back to you about what my love language is when Ive thought about it in about 5 minutes....

Words of afformation.

Acts of service.

Giving gifts.........

how are you ? I'll read up to date and see what you have been writing......

In response to: Falling apart

dands26Senior Contributor12 Dec 2017, 8:29 am AEDT

Re: Falling apart

@PeppiPatty how are you?

Me well - i had a very up and down week last week. With possible concern of a burnout.
Mr had been very up and down and it made for a difficult time.

This week is going much better thus far.
He is puppy sitting for 4 weeks so im hoping that helps him a little.

Its tuesday so keeping with routine we do something together.

Today i am making him dinner, he has some games he wants to teach me and we are taking the puppy walking.
Fingers crossed it goes okay.

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